The Yeeppies... Cavan, Verity & Vesper

Sticky

2011-12-11T11:22:00.001+08:00

Among the three, Vesper is the stickiest to me. I mean, the other two stuck to their father even as babies. Clem would rock and carry them to sleep and they loved being cradled by daddy.

Not Vesper. As a newborn, she would scream and cry for hours when Clem carried her. The surprising part was he was her main caregiver during confinement. He bathed her, changed her. The only thing I did was to breastfeed her (as I did with the other two). But this gal simply won't let me go.

At night, I would let Clem rock her to sleep and they would struggle for hours and I slept. Clem never gave up. One night, I awoke to still hear her screaming and two hours had passed! I quickly took over and instantly, Vesper became silent and fell asleep.

One night, in between the struggle between babe and dad, Clem joked that it must be my "smell". Un-amused, I threw Clem a piece of unwashed top that I wore. He put it on his shoulder and placed screaming Vesper on it.

Quiet. Instantly.

We were both so amazed at what happened and we broke into laughter. Then, Clem insisted that I keep a piece of unwashed top every night.

Whenever I am around, Vesper only wants me. As Clem said, Vesper can enjoy the whole day with him but once I reach home, everyone else around her is oblivious to her. She only wants me.

I love carrying her. I think among the three, I carried her the most. Her petite size is a plus point so my arms don't ache as much.

She kept me really busy. In the past, whenever we went out, I could eat and shop. This time, I couldn't cos I HAD to carry her. Clem sniggered to me and said it was to pay back for the 1st two.

Not funny.

Vesper at 11 days old

Beauty

2011-12-11T07:39:00.000+08:00

Since young, Verity receives compliments as people gush over her, say how pretty she is and how good she looks in that dress/ blouse/ skirt. As a mom, I take pride and praise God that even I, ordinary looking creature, can pop a beautiful being.

As she grows, Clem and I try to impart to her that outer appearance is not everything. We were concerned that people's praises centred around her looks, not virtues or abilities. Moreover, she often gets chided (by me) for clumsiness, for tripping over herself, for spilling, for dropping whatever is in her hands. It seems she can't get anything right. Everything she holds drops to the ground.

These events, put together, may give her the impression that beauty is her only merit.

"Mommy, if I don't have ear rings, am I still pretty?"

This question jolted me. For a three-year-old then to ask me this shows how much worth she sees in herself.

"Darling, you are pretty even without ear rings, make-up, or nail polish. God has made you beautiful that you don't need all these things. What's important is your heart. If you have a beautiful heart, you are even more beautiful."

I started observing and thinking about the good traits she has.

Like how she is a generous and sharing person. She does not keep good things to herself and shares freely. When she goes out and we get something for her, she always thinks of her brother. Even she is left with the last piece of her favourite snack, she would still offer it to people.

Like how she is independant and cleans up her own mess. She would do her painting and by the time she is done and I enter the room, the brushes and bowls are washed and dried, the newspapers thrown away, the floor cleaned. All these done without an instruction from me.

Like how she has the smarts. She used to give excuses for not doing certain things because she doesn't know how to. So we build up her confidence by leading her. Many times, she surprises us with how much she actually knows and we will tell her that she has good brains. Like how we were surprised that she can converse rather well in Mandarin. So we commended her for her language abilities. Like how she surprised us with her mathematical abilities and we affirmed her analytical mind.

We have become more conscious about praising her for good behaviour and thoughts. Of
course, we will still say she looks nice in a certain outfit but our response towards good behaviour and good looks have to be balanced. Emphasis should be placed on what is important. Sometimes we forget and make a great deal over how pretty she looks. Sometimes I can't help but gaze at her for a long time and admire her.

Really, it's hard to resist all these behavior myself. Just need to keep my mouth shut and focus on her qualities!

stealing time

2011-08-12T00:04:00.000+08:00

Once we became parents, couple time becomes non-existent. Not to mention couple time, even personal me-time is zilch. I can't eat my dinner in peace. Even when I shower or use the toilet, one kid will be there asking me to look at their painting, ipad game, writing, goodie bag from school etc. (Err... yes, I have an "open door" policy.)

Basically when we are home or with the kids, they will just clamour up to us and want every second of our time. Of course I relish all these, for when they grow up, hanging around mom and dad is no longer cool. But sometimes after a day's work, we just want to wind down, eat our dinner, talk to our spouse about our day.

We decided that we will just steal time.

When I was pregger, Clem would send me to work and fetch me home. It didn't make sense, if you see it in an economic and practical sense. His office is just 10 min's drive from home. It wastes time, petrol, ERP charges to send and fetch me from CBD area. But he didn't mind it. And because I said this was the only time we can have uninterrupted conversation, he made this a routine.

Then it got better. From car rides, we progressed to breakfast. So we enjoy our mornings together having breakfast at Amoy, Tanjong Pagar Market, Maxwell etc. I treasure these moments alot, as these are times we shared our challenges, our joys, our struggles, our aspirations.

If not for such moments, we would have missed out on each other's lives. We don't want to come to a point where when the kids grow up and have their own lives, suddenly we realise that this person sleeping next to us has become a stranger. That we have no more kids-topic to talk about and we don't know what else to say.

So we constantly look for time to steal. When the kids are in school, and we take leave. When the kids are napping and we do grocery shopping and have tea. When they are asleep and we have supper.

Having supper holding Vesper in my arms. Not fair? At least she doesn't interrupt our conversation!

It's fun looking for time to steal. Well, of course it helped having a helper or grandparents.

Hmmm... should we catch a performance next Sunday afternoon while they are napping?

friends

2011-08-10T17:56:00.002+08:00

At their young age, we can already see how our kids develop friendship and what matters to them. Cavan and Verity are completely different in their approach to making friends.

Cavan thrives on having many friends. His teachers say that once he reaches school, friends start to call out to him. On the school bus, children will compete to sit next to him.

And he is also a loyal and forgiving friend. When he was in Nursery 2, there was a boy B, who said hurtful things to him. Once I saw B and remarked, "Your friend, B, fat fat one ah." Cavan got indignant and retorted, "You can't say such rude things about other people." "I thought you didn't like him?" I inquired. "Still, you cannot say bad things about him!" Two years later, he told me that B had become better and not so naughty anymore.

He has another friend, who was also abusive towards him. And he gets hurt easily. I was angry with Cavan cos he still wanted to be friends despite being emotionally and physically hurt by this person. Why subject yourself to so much pain? You're asking for it.

But Cavan believes in forgiveness and believes that every person will change for the better. Whenever we arrange for them to play, Cavan would pray that he will not be hurt and that the friend will be good. Whenever he gets hurt again, he'll cry and get very upset. But in the end, he'll always say, "I forgive him." And he does notice if the person has improved. He will report to me and say that so-and-so is now a good boy, so on and so forth.

I have such an angel for a son.

Verity, on the other hand, is highly selective when it comes to friends. She is happy just to have one best friend, K. All other people do not matter.

She was at a ballet class and this girl kept calling out to her. But Verity ignored her. I asked Verity why she ignored this girl. Weren't they from the same ballet class? Verity replied that her friend is K.

When K is around, Verity will not pay much attention to other friends and sticks to K like glue. I am always amused how Verity and K will hug and kiss each other non-stop whenever they are together. To the point of being disruptive. Cos they spend more time hugging and kissing each other.

Once, in the ballet class, I asked Clem to peep into the class. He said that the children were doing their exercises around the classroom and when suddenly Verity and K bumped into each other. Then they started giggling and hugging each other and totally disregard the class activity.

In school, the same thing. Her nursery teacher shared that Verity and K will talk non-stop to each other. And Verity only talked to K. She wanted to help them build healthy relationship with others as well so she separated them in different groups and they were no longer partners. Both gals went home and "complained" to their mommies that they were very sad because of this.

Of course, it's so sweet to see her so pally with her BFF. I really pray that their friendship will blossom till teens, till adulthood. At the same time, I also worry about her social life. I mean, her BFF will make other friends and she simply doesn't care about having other friends. I worry she ends up being alone and lonely.

Sometimes, she gets very sullen for no apparent reason and says that no one plays with her. I told her that she has to learn to play with others and not get angry and sulk when her friend is not around. I pray that when she grows up and mature, she will learn to make good friends.

Here they are, my two bubbies, so different when it comes to making friends. One a popular one, the other a highly selective one.

But both, very loyal.

(Almost) Solo Trip with Three Kids

2011-06-30T18:34:00.000+08:00

The family had signed up for the church retreat and we looked forward to the break, especially when our close family friends were going too. We arranged to drive there, hence did not cater for church transport.

Then Clem had his knee ops scheduled 2 weeks before the retreat. Concerned, I asked if he would still be able to drive up. He was affirmative. So, I left at that.

Revelation dawned upon him after his ops. He was not supposed to go anywhere during MC, let alone go out the country. Six days before the retreat, I got an sms from him.

Him: I can't go to the retreat anymore. We'll have to cancel the trip.
I thought seriously for about 3 seconds and replied:
You cancel your trip. We'll still go. All three kids.

There, the trip was to go on. Since we paid for his share, I might as well bring Nancy along.

Since Clem was no longer going, we did not have transport. Clem checked with the Retreat Committee whether we could squeeze into one of the coaches. Nope. All full. Anyway, I couldn't imagine sitting the kids and the baby through the journey, getting up and down the coach with all of them AND the luggages.

So we decided to fly there then transfer to the hotel. One afternoon, Clem called me and said he booked Tiger Airways. What??!! How could you book through an unreliable airline? Don't you know they are known for delayed and cancelled flights? I'm not about take any chances with three kids! Haven't you noticed I've never booked a single air ticket with Tiger?

There were considerations Clem had e.g. timing. He wanted us to come back in an earlier timing as well - 7+am flight.

All was set for the trip. I guess it was tougher for Clem as he packed the whole family off.

I was really thankful as the olders were seasoned travellers. Once they knew we were on a trip, they were extremely cooperative (on top of the usual) and I could count on them to get their bags, get everything prepared and take care of their belongings. This time without daddy, I had to lay the rules clearly for them e.g. always stay close to me, no running out of sight.

There was a slight delay. We were queueing for some time and the gates were not opened. I overheard others in the queue saying that the flight was delayed indefinitely and people were getting restless. I smsed Clem. He would stay at the airport till he saw the plane take off. Just in case the flight was cancelled/ delayed. At least he would be around.

We reached the hotel through transfer without a hiccup. The flight was very short. After the plane took off, we had our coffee and it was time to land. However, the queue at immigration was very long! Judging from the mass, I figured it could take us 2 hours!

Then one staff came to me, seeing that I had three kids including one infant, brought me to a special counter. That took us less than 30 min. Thank God! Then we waited for our transfer and travelled another 45 min to one hour to our hotel.

The Retreat Committee gave us a big room - with a living room, one bedroom and a kitchenette. It was great!

Cavan and Verity had a great time, as they got to spend time with their friends for 4 consecutive days. One of the days we even managed to bring all out for shopping. With all the kids, it was like a class excursion! Mealtimes were the usual challenge, getting the kids settled (they all had their preference who to sit next to), getting their food, helping them with seconds, making sure Verity ate, feeding Vesper. Thank God for kind sisters who offered to care for Vesper so we could eat.

I had a refreshing time, worshipping God and receiving of His Word. Also had a lot of reflections during this time, about my priorities, my next steps.

It was when we were preparing for the return trip that I realised we had to leave the hotel by 5.30am! That meant we had to wake up at 4.45am and get all ready! I couldn't pack in advance as I also had frozen bags of expressed breastmilk.

That morning, Murphy's Law really. All kids got up, got dressed without a fuss. But our luggage broke. There was no time to unpack. But we couldn't check in the luggage as it could not close! I quickly asked the hotel for masking as we checked out. They replied they didn't have any and offered me scotch tape.

I rolled my eyes! I insisted they gave me something stronger. And hurry, time was running out. Eventually they got me paper masking tape and we taped around the luggage. The luggage looked so bandaged. Quite a funny sight.

The kids and Nancy fell asleep in the car. I couldn't cos I needed to keep watch. Several times, the driver seemed to doze when finally he stopped by the shoulder of the road and washed his face. I knew cos he made several sharp swerves. It was harrowing!

We made it home safely. Clem was so so happy to have us back. He had never had to stay home without the entire family before. Well, we had fun. We missed him. But it was truly an adventure!

roadtrip to desaru

2011-04-02T11:41:00.000+08:00

I took three weeks' leave as Nancy went back home on compassionate leave. After one week of housewifery, I couldn't take it and told Clem, let's get out, go somewhere. Anything is better than staying home and do housework.

So we booked 3 nights at Lotus Desaru (2 bedroom) and drove up with my father.

The kids loved the place. There was a huge playground pool near our hotel room. Even my father couldn't resist dipping into the pool.

Vesper loved the big bed where she rumbled and tumbled about.

What Cavan and my father loved most was the buffet breakfast. Unlimited food.

We also liked the buggy rides that took us around the resort so we don't have to walk. Lazy people.

Basically, Desaru is quiet town. Not much shopping. We went to the fruit farm and that's about it. For dinners, we would drive to Penggerang for cheap and delicous seafood. We liked this place so much we had dinner every night we were there.

For me, it was not a break. I had to carry Vesper wherever we went. I stayed in the room or just sat out there with Vesper when the kids went swimming.

I must bring Nancy here the next time so I can go suntanning while she stays in the room to watch Vesper or put her to bed. Heehee.

Japan

2011-03-20T11:38:00.003+08:00

My family was saddened by the host of disasters that hit Japan just last week. Because Japan is the family's fav country and we would visit every year.

My affinity to Japan started when I was in NUS. Then I had chosen to study Japanese Studies as one of my main subjects, as I was thinking, since I had to pay school fees, I might as well take a language. Then no need to pay to learn outside.

Why Japanese? So I can read Japanese menus and labels of Japanese stuff.

I had a short stint in Nagoya during third year in NUS. Spent three wonderful weeks there and made many friends. When I left, I cried in the plane and I missed the place and the people terribly. I have never felt that way for a country and probably won't have the same sentiment for another.

I also dreamt of marrying a Japanese. But I was already dating Clem. Incidentally, he shared that his dream was to marry a Japanese gal. I guess, at least we marry people with the same dream.

I almost decided to go to Japan as a missionary after graduation. But a few months after grad, Clem proposed and we got married a year later. So that mission was never fulfilled.

Cavan is also in love with Japan. Food-wise. At 18 months, he had his first bowl of karaage-don and had never looked back. Whenever we asked what he'd like to have for lunch/ dinner. The answer is always Japanese Food! And Japan was the 1st place he experienced snow. So that always held a special place in his heart.

Verity loves Japan because of... Hello Kitty! It's madness but Japan's full of the merchandise. Enough to make any gal go ga-ga.

And Vesper. Well, she was made in Japan. Enough said.

Japan has given us many great memories. We continue to pray for Japan that God's mercy be upon them and the nation will restore quickly. I am sure the Japanese's steely determination will bring them through.
Gambatte ne!

Little Fashionista

2011-03-20T10:46:00.000+08:00

Verity's sense of fashion became apparent before she even turned 2. Then she was already dictating what she wanted to wear. Going out became a constant battle as we argued about what she could and could not wear. Of course, she could wear whatever she liked but dear mommy here has internal rules about what clothes were appropriate for, say, going to the market or going to church.

Then again, it was cute to see what matches she came up with. I must say she is really creative and manages to pull stuff off.

One day, she decided to wear the skirt and complete the look with swimming cap and lego tunnel pieces as bangles.

She decided to put on this ensemble and voila! Rock Star look.

Again, her ensemble complete with Miss Lala glasses and bear necklace for a 80's disco look

She decided that Pooh's clothes look better on her as a vest

New ways to wear hairbands! As belts! There are two here: a lacy one and a bead one.

Nowadays, her tastes are more upmarket. She demands to wear dresses whenever she goes. Even to the wet market. And with her glittery nice shoes. Of course, I said no, wear shorts and slippers. Again another tussle. You just can't win.

She thinks pants are ugly and often asks us to make her pretty whenever we put on clothes for her.

Her high standards are not confined to herself. She also gives her assessment readily on others. "That auntie quite nice but a bit not nice." Why? "She doesn't have nail polish."

Ok, our little fashionista here is a perfectionist. Must complete the look.

Just yesterday, she found fault with her look. "I want to colour my hair."

Clement and I were shocked. What a thing to ask from a 3.5 year-old.

"Black is not nice." So what colour do you want? "I want to colour my hair pink. Maybe with a bit of yellow."

I am a little worried. For her age, she already places so much emphasis on appearance. Would she ask for plastic surgery when she grows up?

Short Getaway to Bangkok... Kids-Free!

2011-03-19T13:43:00.001+08:00

Clem and I hardly have our couple trips since the kiddies came along. Just twice. Once to Bali when Cavan was 4 months old. Another time at LoveStory Retreat at Austin Hill when Cavan was 2.5 years old, when I was preg with Verity at 7 months.

During CNY, Jeslin broached the subject about going on a kids-free trip. It sounded very appealing to me. I was very tired since I started work after 2 months of maternity leave. My life revolved around the baby and breastfeeding. Felt i needed a break. But I also had logistics concerns.

I was still breastfeeding Vesper. Ok, I'm a breastmilk Nazi. I don't want to put Vesper on formula. Moreover, she was used to sleeping with us. At night, when she was hungry, I just put her to nurse directly. When I'm not around, how is she going to sleep? How to drink? My poor baby!

Nancy was my other concern. How could I abandon her with 3 kids and go gallivanting?

The kids were my final and most important concern. We had never left them behind. Wanna go on a holiday? All go. Never mind the logistics and expenses.

But the trip was really appealing. We decided to go on Fri - Sun. Not too bad. At least if the kids were tired, there was no school. Logistically not too straining on Nancy too.

Before we started booking, i had to make logistics and childcare arrangements. Called my mother-in-law. Asked if she could stay over and sleep with Vesper. Oh, very easy. When Vesper cries in the night, either she needs to drink milk or change nappy.

We didn't mention there were nights she was inconsolable for no particular reasons and cried for hours. Oops.

My mother in law agreed readily. Bravo! Brave soul!

Once this most important arrangement was confirmed, next my father. As we would leave early in the morning at 5+ am, someone needed to help bring the kids to their schoolbus.

No problem, my father said. I'll come over at 6+.

Hurray for supportive parents!

I quickly informed Jeslin and we booked the air tickets and hotel less than 48 hours after our spontaneous discussion. And off we went in a span of 2 weeks.

We parked our car at Billy and Jes', as their place was near the airport, and shared a cab. Off we went!

Hotel
Stayed at SilQ boutique hotel. Nice modern place within walking distance to the MRT. Room felt empty without the kids climbing about.

Massages
For a short 3 day trip, we went for 3 massages. The 1st night, Clem and I went for Thai massage at 11pm. The masseur really worked hard and my bones were cracking. 2nd day, B&J settled for foot massage. Clem and I didn;t like foot massage so we settled for neck, shoulder back. That night, we went for oil massage.

Think I prefer oil (Balinese- style) massage to Thai. More soothing.

Even amidst the shopping, we also stopped by for a short massage. Shiok!

Shopping
I must say the trip was too short! Only managed to go to Siam Centre, Siam Square and Platinum! Didn't shop up a storm.

Also managed to do something I didn't have time for in Singapore - haircut! Cheap and good!

Milk
That's right. I didn't forget my mothering duties even while on a holiday. I pumped when i woke up, pumped after breakfast, after lunch, during mid afternoon, after dinner, before bed. I pumped in toilets for the wheel-chaired. Sorry I know I'm being inconsiderate, but that toilet had baby changing station. So pretend I had a baby with me ok?

Siam Centre had the cleanest toilet. The wheel-chair cubicle in the Ladies had baby changing station so I was able to put my stuff there.

At Platinum, Clem would follow me to the separate toilet. When we emerge, people (esp cleaners in charge of the toilet) would stare at us as if we did something in the toilet. Afterall, we spent almost 30 min there.

I washed my stuff using bottled water. And put the milk in the hotel room's mini fridge. Since it was a short trip, I didn't need to freeze the milk. It was unbelievable I went to this extent.

It was a short trip, an enjoyable one, nonetheless. We said we would not think of the kids too much and not shop for kids stuff. But how to resist?

Maternity Clothes (Part 2)

2011-03-19T13:30:00.001+08:00

In my previous pregnancy, people asked me where I got my clothes. So i posted a blog sharing where most my clothes were from, for I am not one who buys maternity stuff.

When expecting Vesper, I didn't grow very much in size, although I was heavier than when expecting Verity (mystery of mystery). I could still wear normal working skirts (Mango size S somemore!) For the 3rd pregnancy, i was into Korean frilly styles and dresses. Best of all, they were non-maternity so post-delivery, just wear them with belts cinched at the waist.

Now, ahem, fashion show time - again!

4 wks preg. Uniqlo spaghetti top and tights

14 wks preg. Mphosis shorts suit

19 wks. Pull and Bear T-shirt, Fox skirt

17 wks. Mango top, Joop skirt

22 wks. Joop dress

24 wks. Top shop top, floral skirt from Japan

25 wks. Dress from shop in Toa Payoh

27 wks. T-shirt from Forever 21, skirt from Cotton On

28 wks. T-shirt from People's Park, lacy black skirt from Japan, tights from Uniqlo

31 wks. Top from United Square, skorts from Japan

33 wks. Sequinned dress from Arthur Yen

33 wks. Dress from Bali

36 wks. shorts suit from Bali

firstborn

2011-03-07T19:04:00.002+08:00

I always wonder if firstborns ever face any pressure. Pressure of living up to their parents' expectations. Pressure of being a role model to their younger siblings.

As the first child, firstborns are given undivided attention. Daddy and mummy are there to guide their every step, coach them to perfect their speech and repeat melodies to catch that perfect pitch.

When Verity came along, we would ask him to give in to her, to be a good example as she would follow his ways

I wonder if Cavan feels any pressure.

Clem says I'm stricter with Cavan. Though I beg to differ. I thought I scolded Verity more. I smack her more. Because Verity is more rebellious and stubborn.

Maybe Clem is right. Verity can get away with most wrongdoing. Because she is as stubborn as a mule. Doesn't help that she has such a cute and innocent face. And i get tired of fighting with her. (Such irony. Since when I get tired of fighting. Must be age.)

For Cavan, when he doesn't obey the first time, I get mad. Because he's so obedient and willing to please. I guess I can't accept it when he doesn't listen the first time.

One night before bedtime,

Me: Children, go and brush your teeth.
(no response)
Me: (raising my voice) Children, go and brush your teeth!
Verity: I don't want!
Me: Cavan, go and brush your teeth.
Cavan: Verity doesn't want to brush her teeth, I also...

Suddenly, he stopped and caught himself. Then he continued.

Cavan:... I will still go and brush my teeth. I will be a good example.

I was surprised by the response. I totally didn't expect it from a five-year-old child.

Of course, I praised him to no end. I'm so proud of him for doing the right thing. I don't know this is because he is aware of his "responsibilities" as the oldest child. Or simply because he's such a pleaser.

One thing I know is, Cavan is a such a perfect son. The kind of son I've always wanted.

I'm so honoured to be chosen to be his mother. It's my blessing he is chosen to be my firstborn.

Lefty

2011-01-23T04:12:00.002+08:00

Not sure if it's official, but Verity is a lefty.

We only noticed it when she went to Nursery One last year. Before that, we didn't pay much attention to which hand she used in her daily life like feeding, colouring or throwing.

Only when she went to school and did more writing and colouring that we realised she tended to use her left hand.

Thinking that there is a "right" way, I switched her to using her right hand. Afterall, kids at this age are malleable. Can train and change easily.

So I thought.

But it didn't seem "right". She applied weak strokes. I thought it was her terrible twos acting out. I became stricter and demanded her to be serious in her work. It didn't occur to me that was her weak hand.

During the parent-teacher meeting, I raised this concern to her teacher. Ms Grace was aware of Verity's preference. In class, she did not dictate which hand the child would use as at this stage the child would begin to seek out their stronger hand and preference. She told us that Verity wrote and coloured more steadily using her left hand. In any case, she asked us to decide whether we wanted Verity to switch to right hand so the teachers could also be consistent in guiding her at school.

We stopped dictating which hand Verity should use and observed her preference. She was at this awkward stage where she was caught between her natural dexterity and "social norm". So it might have somewhat become a hurdle to her as she wasn't sure which hand she should use.

As a result, she would sometimes claim that she didn't know how to scoop soup or rice. Again, it only occurred to me recently that she was fearing spillage as I was strict about mess. Nancy would encourage her to use her "strong" hand. I took the cue from Nancy. I no longer refer to "right" or "left" hand but "strong" hand.

Not using her right hand doesn't make it wrong.

I had to remind myself to be more aware of her situation and development needs and focus less on performance. I should help build up her confidence in performing tasks using her strong hand.

It was a little awkward for me as she would ask me to hold her hand to write. So I wrote in my best possible strokes using my left hand.

I have to remember to be patient if her movement using the computer mouse was not smooth and when she kept clicking on the right button instead of the left. (The mouse is designed for right handers!)

I have to remember to be patient when she cuts using scissors and her paper always ends up between the blades uncut. (Scissors are designed for right handers too!)

I have to understand that when she writes, the ink will smudge as her left hand would move from left to right. It's nothing to do with her untidiness.

My focus and perspective have changed. I have learnt to be more supportive as life skills may not come as easily for Verity, given that most equipments and instruments are designed for right handers.

Patience is a virtue I most lacked and through my daughter, I will learn to develop.

Ah, lessons God gives us through children.

Appetites

2011-01-13T09:59:00.002+08:00

Inconsistency at the dining table. I had to ask one to eat slowly and the other to eat quickly.

Cavan has no problems. He gobbles up food quickly. And eats adult portion. Maybe more than adult portion. You ask him what's his favourite food and he ends up naming every edible thing.

He's always hungry. After his meal, he awaits his sister's leftovers. When Clem and I have our dinner, he requests for a bite here and there.

I told Cavan that he eats too fast, so the brain hasn't registered that he's eaten so he doesn't feel full yet. But he does say he is hungry and asks to eat something 30 - 40 min later.

Clem and I always think we got bang for our buck whenever we bring him for buffets. Especially when kids eat for free. We always snigger to ourselves that Cavan eats more than some adults and he doesn't have to pay. Cheapskate parents.

Then Verity. When she was younger, she was experimental with food. But her interest waned as she grows. She loves veg and fruits, and hates meat. (Now where did all that chubby cheeks come from?) It has become an ordeal making her eat her meals.

She plays around her bowl. Picks a grain or two. Nibble. Picks some veg. Nibble. I have to ask her to perform every step: Pick up spoon. Scoop. Feed. Chew. Swallow. 2- 3 rounds till I get really fed up and start yelling at her, threaten her or sometimes using reward to motivate. Carrot and stick, I've tried them all. But we just can't spend our time cajoling or coercing her right? Sometimes, Cavan tries to help his little sister by feeding and coaxing her. Other times, he simply hands me the ruler.

Inconsistency. I attempt to reward Verity with a cookie or chocolate if she eats fast. Then Cavan asks, how about me. I eat fast.

I told him: for you, you have to eat slower. And less.

The last thing I want is to give him more food. But how can one ever say no to a kid who wants more food?

Empty Nest Syndrome

2011-01-05T18:16:00.000+08:00

My kids haven't even left home and I'm already feeling this. They left my room.

Actually, Clem and I had been trying for years to drive them out of our room. Blame it on me. I wanted the kids to co-sleep with us, as I wanted to spend every waking and sleeping moment with them since Clem and I work.

When I was expecting Verity in my last trimester, I drove Cavan out of our bed. Even when he slept on the floor, I already missed him.

Eventually he was supposed to sleep in his own bed in the other room when we brought baby Verity home. He did for 2-3 nights and came back to our room. Clem lamented but I was secretly pleased. The whole family was in one room again!

When I was expecting Vesper, I was serious about the kids moving out. Starting with Cavan.

We told him he has to sleep in his own room when he turns five. He didn't.

We told him he has to do it when Verity turns 3. Again he didn't.

He bargained with us and asked why not do it when he turns 10? I mentioned some of his friends and told him none of them sleep in the parents' room.

For Verity, once Cavan vacates from our room, she will take over his place. But Cavan didn't budge so she remained. We set up the baby playpen for her to sleep. It lasted for weeks then revert to original arrangement.

Cavan drew this in his school journal. Now the teachers know how we sleep

So what was the crux that made them eventually change their mind?

I had to deliver Vesper and Clem would be staying with me in the hospital.

I already prepared Cavan mentally a few days before I actually popped that he and Verity had to sleep in their room when daddy and I go to the hospital to bring Vesper.

So the night of Vesper's birth was the night they shifted. For good.

I was surprised they didn't kick a fuss but obediently carried their sleep stuff, made the beds ans settled down pretty quickly. The next day, Cavan told me that his bed was very comfortable!

Verity's transition was greater. We night toilet-trained her at the same time. A couple of days after they shifted, Clem decided to remove her night diapers and reminded her to wake up to go to the toilet if she needed to.

The 1st 2 weeks she woke Clem up to bring her to the toilet. After that she trotted to the toilet herself, switched on the button light. did her business, and trotted back sleepily.

And all this while she did not wet her bed even once. We praised her for her achievement. She was so proud the 1st thing she told her teacher upon returning to school was not about the new baby but that she didn't need to wear diapers anymore.

I would surely miss the bedtime activities at our bed, reading books, telling one another about our day, taking turns to pray and other blabber.

But it's time to grow up. For me.

School A Year Ago

2011-01-03T18:06:00.006+08:00

Just a year ago, I wondered how Verity would take to school. While Cavan was adaptable, made friends easily and independent, Verity was more xiao jie and had people to fuss over her. I was also worried about her taking the school bus. She was barely 2.5 years old. Would she sit still on the bus? Would it be safe? Actually, I didn’t have to worry about her. I was sure Cavan would take care of her.

On their first day of school, I went to work for I would definitely be anxious. Dun think my emotions could handle it if Verity started crying. So I left it to Clem to follow them (secretly). He wanted to send the kids to school. I said no. Let Verity go through the day as-is, otherwise she would have the same expectation every day making it hard to transit.

So Clem darted in every corner so Verity would not see him.

Verity went up the school with Cavan without a fuss. We established a good-bye ritual that continued till today – hug, kiss, hi-5.

In school, Cavan held her hand and brought her to her class. Clem peeped from outside.

There were parents with their children. The children had to wash their hands before breakfast. Parents were helping their children wash and dry their hands. Verity observed and followed suit, without assistance.
During breakfast, while other children were distracted and had their parents to supervise, Verity was still eating her breakfast like a little lady, unfazzled by the surrounding chaos (and Clem still hiding well). Her steadiness persisted for weeks.
I was very proud of her. And proud of Cavan as a little guardian. Sometimes Verity cried in class and Cavan would go to her class to comfort. Teachers told us that Cavan was a good brother. He knew how to coax her and settle her.

Verity settled down in school like a big girl. Her teacher, Ms Grace, frequently gave feedback on how Verity was doing and I thanked God for nurturing teachers like her in school. Here were some things:

• Extended love and care for her friend. Verity would pat her friend’s chest when her friend was coughing

• Asked teachers and friends to pray for me and baby

• The Chinese teacher commented that Verity learnt very fast and had a very good memory. Though Verity started out with zero Chinese, she could understand and converse in Mandarin very quickly. The teachers were impressed that she remembered all the songs and dance steps, and often volunteer to sing and dance in front of the class.

• Being chatty, she would have lots to share and tell her teachers whenever she returned after the weekend.

I certainly didn’t expect it when Verity got an award. For Cavan, he received an award every year since Play Group.

When school hols started, Verity kept asking why there was no school. Tomorrow, school will start and she (and Cavan) had been looking forward to it.

So do I.

The Story of Vesper's Birth

2010-12-28T18:39:00.004+08:00

29 November 2010.

I still wonder how Dr could “imagine” that Vesper will pop out this day and she really did. Anyway, I went to work as usual while Clem took leave. I asked him, why are you taking leave? Are you giving birth? Anyway he brought the kids for a swim in the morning and ran errands in the afternoon.

5.45pm
He fetched me from office for our appointment at Sun Plaza. Dr has specially instructed me to see him there at 6pm. I was late. I had a missed call from Dr! I quickly retrieved the voice message, only to hear him talking to another patient in the background. Aiyo, this Dr so kancheong, consulting a patient still want to call me. Afraid that I don’t show up is it?

6.30pm
When I arrived at the crowded clinic, he called me again and asked where I was. Dr, I’m just outside! Ok, he replied satisfactorily, I thought you’re not coming.

When I got into Dr’s room, he asked, “Do you know why I called you? I called to check whether you are in pain. If yes, I will ask all the patients outside to go home.”

Whoa, suddenly I felt very important. At the same time, I thought he was a little mad. Why would he be so sure i will deliver today?

“Dr, I feel perfectly fine!”

The ultrasound showed that baby’s head was down. Very good, Dr commented, but the weight is around 2.2 kg. Quite low.

Of course low lah, I thought. Now only 37 weeks what. If carry to 40 weeks, sure normal weight.

Suddenly he turned to and said in a serious tone, “Do you know you are having contractions now?”

Knitting my brows, I tried to feel whether I was. He pointed at my belly and exclaimed, “There, there! You see, you’re having contractions! Joker lah, you.”

I retorted that tightening was very common. Clem told Dr that I’ve been having them for almost 2-3 weeks already.

He proceeded to do an internal check. I was 2-3cm dilated. I was to be put on CTG to track the contractions. So I went to the next room with clem, and the nurse strapped me up. We were cracked up how Dr called me a joker and were joking and taking pics to pass time.

7.20 pm

Then suddenly, I told clem “um, I think the contractions seem to get stronger.” He looked at the chart and reported that out of 200, my scale was 155.

Wondering why that happened, I asked whether clem saw Dr put anything when he did the check. No leh, nothing.

When I went back to Dr’s room later, he wanted to check me. Again? Anyway, still same.

“I think you won’t deliver tonight. Maybe 2-3 days’ time.” He went on to answer my query about what will happen if I pop when he’s not around.

When Clem told him that my contractions seemed stronger, Dr smiled and said it was normal and would usually happen after a check. He had to rush off for a delivery. “The baby is crowning already but never mind, she’s on epidural so can wait. Thought I’d better check you first.”

Before he left, he gave me all the instructions – go straight to hospital if I had the signs. Mine was an express case so better don’t wait till the last minute unless I wanted my hubby and son to deliver for me at home. As he was rushing, he turned around and reminded me, “And please answer your phone. I will call.” And he continued nagging at me even as he sped off.

It was the first time I hear a doctor asking the patient to pick up her phone.

8 pm

I was feeling quite uncomfortable as the contractions really were stronger. Clem was hungry so we went to the foodcourt to eat. I told him to hurry as I had a feeling that this could be IT. Just like when I was having the other two, I totally had no appetite. Clem bought me ginseng chicken soup.

After he was done, he seemed dissatisfied and asked if I wanted to eat anything else. I was mildly irritated as I felt I had to rush for time. I certainly did not want to deliver anywhere other than the hospital! Can you hurry up!

We rushed home so I could wash up, prepare and pack the bags . Called the children to prepare them that we were going to the hospital. Suddenly, Clem asked he could swing by the petrol station to pump petrol.

WHAT!!?? I’m going to pop soon and now you tell me you’re running low on petrol!!?? Why can’t you do it earlier since you were on leave?

He said never mind then.

What never mind? What if we were rushing to hospital halfway and the car couldn’t move? That’s worse! I’m not going to give birth on the road!

Our plan then was for Clem to bring the kids out to pump petrol so they won’t hover around me. Don’t think I can respond to them when the contractions kick in. I could also wash up and pack in peace.

8.45 pm

Reached home. Timed the contractions while I was doing the necessary. They were between 40 – 60 seconds with 1 min plus intervals. When clem came back with the kids, he told them that we were to going to the hospital and won’t be coming home that night. So they had to sleep in their room with Nancy. The kids were incredibly understanding and didn’t fuss. Cavan asked whether he would get to see me. Yes, tomorrow morning daddy will come and bring you to the hospital to see mummy and baby. I was so confident that baby would be out by then.

We were in such a hurry that I didn’t take my customary bikini shot, as I had with Cavan and Verity. But Verity wanted to take a pic with me.

Clem put the kids to bed. We said good bye and zoomed off at 9.30pm

10pm

Reached TMC. I had to stay at the admission counter to sign some documents. Later one of the recep asked, “You’re Mdm Chng?” I nodded. “Oh, Dr Ang told us to expect you.” Later she commented that I didn’t look like I was having contractions. I told her I had 3 in the past 5-8 min. I had to tahan, can’t be yelling and screaming in public, right?

Finally, I was released from withholding my pain and agony and was brought to the delivery ward. As I reached the nurses there chimed, “We have been waiting for you! Dr said you are very fast, express lane!”

I changed into my gown, the nurses did the necessary. I asked for gas and the nurse checked me. “5-6 cm. Not so soon, not so soon darling.”

I was very demoralized to hear that. After Verity broke my record having arrived 1 hr 45 min after I was in the hospital, I expected a shorter labour this time. “Gosh, is it going take me another 4-5 hours?” I thought.

I was in such a pain and I heard the nurses talking something in distress. Removing my gas mask, I asked feebly, who is in distress, what’s distress? I was fearing any complications. “Oh no, you don’t have to worry, it’s a medical term.” If it concerned me or my baby, of course I wanted to know. But another contraction came, I had to use gas so I didn’t ask further.

Shortly after, the nurse said she wanted to wheel me to the delivery room. No no, I want to walk there. I feel better walking. I had to hurry the nurse for I didn't want to be caught having a contraction while walking. Thankfully, the delivery room was very near.
By this time, I didn’t check the time, as with my other births as I didn’t want to be demotivated by how slow time is crawling.

It seemed the contractions this time were stronger. Or the gas wasn’t working. I asked the nurse, is the gas working? Why am I feeling so much pain?

Later, I heard the nurse told Clement that I was in distress, whether I was in distress previously.

By then, I was experiencing such violent contractions that I bent to the side. “Don’t twist your body, if not the baby can’t come out.” I listened to the nurse’s advice and lay on my back and to labour in that position was terrible. At one point I was thinking, “Why am I going through this AGAIN??”

I felt pressure below and was trying to push. The contractions made me raised my upper body instinctively. Then I felt the nurse holding her hand below. I didn.t know what she was doing and somehow I felt less pressure. Clem later told me that she was trying to adjust baby’s head inside. I didn’t know what that meant.

There was busy-ness in the room. It didn't occur to me that the end is nearing as the nurse earlier told me not so soon. Even when they propped my legs up, it didn't register to me that I could pop soon.

Suddenly Dr burst into the room and exclaimed, “Whoa, I made it in time. Soann, how many pushes you want? One or two?”

He then showed Clem where he was going to cut. Clem told him that I didn’t want to cut for I heal faster without episiotomy. Dr thought for a quick second and went along with my decision.

Clem told me that baby’s head was crowning. I quickly asked him to grab the camera.

I was pushing hard and I felt I was tearing below, and a bolt of fire that shot through my right leg to my sole. It was totally unbearable and I didn’t think I could continue. But, for the split second, I thought, just get over and done with!

The next thing I knew, the baby was placed on my tummy. It was so fast, clem didn’t witness the birth. He turned to take the camera. When he turned back, the baby was already on me.

Later, when we were waiting to go to my ward, I asked clem whether my water bag burst as I didn’t recall it bursting. He said no.

Was the baby wet when she came out? No.

Was the mat wet? No.

Then what happened to my water bag?

Maybe you don’t have a water bag, said Clem.

Don’t be ridiculous, how can anyone not have a waterbag?

Later I asked Dr. He wasn’t sure either.

Till today, it remained a mystery.

Anyway, was really glad I broke my record – 1 hr 13 min upon reaching. Good job, Vesper!

Reasons for Having Three

2010-11-26T19:32:00.002+08:00

When you are pregnant, you can expect these 3 common questions from people, even strangers:
1. How many months?
2. Is it a boy or girl?
3. It's your number...

The interesting part comes after this. People will start speculating the gender of the kid(s) you already have. The conversation continues from question 2...

Me: It's a girl.
A: It's your number...
Me: 3.
A: So you have 2 boys?

There's where assumption kicks in.

People readily assume that you're trying for a gender you don't already have, that's why you have 3 kids. So is there really a reason for having 3? Let's analyse the reasons for having 1 and 2 first.

Baby #1 happens for various reasons: Parents are ready, parents are not ready (so-called accidents), erm I can't think of anymore. Make that 2 reasons then.

Baby #2 happens for more reasons: Because the 1st one is a boy/ girl, and parents are (secretly) hoping for a different gender (Don't believe them if they say it doesn't matter); Because the 1st is lonely and needs a playmate; Because parents believe in one-to-one replacement rate (ok, I'm kidding for this one. Who seriously thinks for the nation when it comes to procreation?)

Now, Baby #3. There are parents who are really trying for a different gender if the 1st 2 are repeats. Or parents grow up in a big family and would like the same bustle around at home. Or parents simply like kids and don't mind having more.

What about OUR reason? Before it happened, I don't have a reason for having #3. One boy, one girl is already perfect. Foodcourt seats are designed for a family of 4. NDP tickets are restricted to 4. Coin-operated kiddy rides are designed for at most 2 riders. When you go on amusement rides, you go in pairs. If you live in a four-room flat, each of the kids get his/ her own room. Each of the parent holds one child, just nice.

People asked whether it was planned or accident. I said for Clem it was planned. For me, it was an accident. My gynae called it accidently planned. Whatever it was, it happened.

Now that it happened, I began to see the up-side.

Having come from a family of 2 kids, the benefit of having more siblings only occurred to me after I got married.

I realised how quiet and empty my house became after I married. That's why I tried to go back as much as I could. It got worse after mom passed away, leaving pa and bro. It's just my bro and I trying to handle family affairs together, taking care of parents' needs, and sometimes I wish there was another sibling to share, to discuss.

#3 is really God-given and a blessing. I guess there are adjustments to be made, and more expenses. And I always tell Clement that he is such a good dad that he deserved to have more children (sorry, but after this, STOP!).

I'm proud to say I'm a mom of 3. I think it's so cool. Cavan was delighted to have another sibling. As for Verity, I feel sorry for her. I really wanted her to be the baby of the family, the princess of the family. For Verity's sake, I would have felt better if #3 were a boy. But then, it's God-given and I would not have it another way.

I'm looking forward to a noisy family setting. Already, we can hardly hear ourselves talk with the 2 loudly demanding 100% of our attention. How, with one more, I always asked Clem playfully. When I see Clem fooling around with the 2 at home, I would imagine another young one toddling along and it brought so much warmth to my heart.

I'm looking forward to you joining our family, Vesper.

Akan Datang

2010-11-20T23:29:00.000+08:00

The visit to the gynae today really made me all anxious.

I've been taking it easy with the preparation, knowing that my EDD was 21 Dec 2010. I still have a month to go. There's time! So I planned my work right down to my last working day - 20 Dec. Or so I wish.

For the visit today, I knew that Dr was going to perform an internal check. Plus I had several questions to ask him, so we didn't bring the kids along.

He confirmed that he might not be around for my delivery as he is on leave from 3 - 15 Dec. I asked him for his stand-in doctors and he provided me three names, out of which two were his good friends.

When we did a scan, he exclaimed oh good, the baby's head is down already. And after performing an internal check, he said rather matter-of-factly, "You're very open. Maybe I can get to deliver you," as he pulled out his gloves and walked back to his table.

I was stunned. "Huh, do you mean before 3 Dec or after 15 Dec?"

"Maybe before 3 Dec. Might even be this week."

Whhhhat??!!

"When you said 'very open', how many cm?" I persisted.

"You're already 2cm dilated."

So he had me scheduled to see the following Monday (29 Nov), muttering that would be the last Monday he's around. My mind was full of suspicion. I certainly hope he won't trigger labour by a vigorous internal check, like what he did for Cavan and Verity. At the same time, I was hoping he would deliver me. After all, I paid to see him, not his stand-in doctors!

Clem chuckled, "You'd better tell your colleagues on 29 Nov to be prepared not to see you in the office the next day."

I glared at him and pouted.

Well, I just hope I get to celebrate our anniversary, my birthday and watch Pinocchio the Musical with the kids before baby comes.

And try to settle my work matters by this week. And quickly start buying and washing the baby stuff, re-organise the house and wardrobe. And train the kids to sleep on their own beds, not on my bed!

So many things to think about. No wonder I can't sleep now.

A Name for #3

2010-11-20T22:10:00.008+08:00

For the 1st time, we already had a name for our baby even before she was born.

For Cavan, we didn't check the gender so we prepared a list of boy and gal names. Cavan was shortlisted and he had the Cavan look, so it was perfect.

The name Verity was not in the list of names when we had Cavan. I was inspired cos I knew someone named Verity and she was a sweet person. And the name was so sweet, and not a hybrid. And you can find it in a dictionary.

This time round, we decided to start early a few months ago. I polled the stakeholders and asked what name is nice for our baby. The following names came up:

Hannah - suggestor: Cavan. Not a bad name. Biblical too. Why did you choose this name, I asked. Bcos I like Hannah Montana, he said. Strike off.

Sarah - suggestor: Verity. No particular reason. But too common, I said. So, strike off.

After this came many suggestions. Eventually, Cavan the ingenious one exclaimed with a sparkle in his eyes.

"I know, I know! We combine my name and Verity's name. We call our baby Cavity!"

We laughed and ruffled his hair. He was so innocently pleased with his contribution until we told him what that meant.

We were still in search of a name, preferably starting with "V". I jokingly told Clem that since I can't have my dream scooter, Vespa, I might as well name our baby Vespa.

This name got stuck. And I was getting serious. And Clem thinks I'm being ridiculous.

Later, I remembered that there was an English word "Vesper". I checked and got the following:

1. Vesper Martini is a cocktail that was originally made of gin, vodka, and Kina Lillet.

Oops, ok, I like Martini but I don't think this is a selling point if I need to convince Clem.

2. the evening star, esp. Venus; Hesper.

3. Also called vesper bell . a bell rung at evening.

4. a) a religious service in the late afternoon or the evening.

b) the sixth of the seven canonical hours, or the service for it, occurring in the late afternoon or the evening.

c) Roman Catholic Church . a part of the office to be said in the evening by those in major orders, frequently made a public ceremony in the afternoons or evenings of Sundays and holy days.

d) evensong

5. evening

It didn't sound so bad after all. I smsed Clem that I've decided to name baby Vesper.

He: What? I'm not going to name my baby after a scooter.

I: It's not Vespa, it's Vesper

He: What does it mean?

I: It means evening

He: First, it sounds like a scooter. Now, in the dark some more. Cannot cannot, sounds like a rebel.

Grrrr... so dense!

Then one night, something happened that I was convinced it was a sign.

I was sleeping when suddenly I awoke in the middle of the night, humming a familiar tune I used to sing during my Girl Guide days. Remembering some of the words, I did a quick google and got the following result:

Scout Vespers

I should feel spooked at this time. Instead, I was elated!

I shared with Clem excitedly the morning he awoke. He was skeptical. Then I recited the lyrics to him. Meaningful right? Meaningful right? It's so reflective.

Ya ya ya, was his way of entertaining my ridiculous outburst.

Anyway, I was a good persuader and salesman so eventually he got used to the idea. I kept calling our baby Vesper, to get him into it. Clem said now the name has a nice ring to it.

I shared the name with our kids. Cavan wrinkled his nose and asked "What, it sounds like a TV show!"

Curious, I asked which show had Vesper?

"Vesper Housewives, your favourite show!"

This boy is really funny. Desperate Housewives lah, I corrected him.

Anyway, here are the lyrics to Scout Vespers.

Scout Vespers

Softly falls the light of day,
While our campfire fades away.
Silently each scout should ask:
"Have I done my daily task?
Have I kept my honor bright?
Can I guiltless sleep tonight?
Have I done and have I dared
Everything to be prepared.?"

Listen Lord, oh listen Lord,
As I whisper soft and low,
Bless my Mom and bless my Dad,
There is something they should know.
I have kept my honor bright.
The Oath and Law has been my guide.
Mom and Dad, this you should know,
Deep in my heart I love you so.

Pierced

2010-10-10T09:41:00.000+08:00

Verity has been bugging us for earrings since she was less than 2 years old. I was hesitant as she has itchy fingers and I was afraid that she would meddle with her ear studs and hurt her earholes.

Moreover, she was always climbing about and jumping around, so the chances of hurting herself were higher.

She had to make do with toy clip-on earrings. And we would end up losing one of the pair.

In May this year, we passed by B'dazzled. Her daddy, struck by spontaneity, asked whether she wanted to pierce her ears. I was irritated and glared at him. Didn't we agree we'll do when she turns three, I muttered to him. Never mind lah, came his reply.

For Verity, once you asked, there was no turning back. She said yes! happily. I had to set her expectations. No crying, no meddling with earrings, be careful when combing hair and playing. She said yes yes yes to my naggings.

The decision was made under 3 min.

We went in and informed the lady that Verity was not yet three. The lady replied cheerfully, no problem. Her cheerfulness and mannerisms gave me the confidence that she could handle a young child.

She talked to Verity excitedly and asked her pick out her fav ear stud. Verity chose what she called "pink baby diamonds". And we were all set.

Suddenly, I had cold feet. What if they pierced one side and she started bawling and refused to do the other side? I stood outside the counter to stop myself from interfering. I was NERVOUS.

The lady was very professional. SHe asked another attendant to assist her. While speaking to Verity very kindly, she informed Verity that she was going to put "ice cream water" to her ears.

After that, she counted to three and both she and the attendant pireced Verity's ears together.

So clever, I thought.

She explained that for kids, they usually pierced two together.

All this while, Verity sat straight as a lady, without a flinch, without a cry. So cool, my baby.

Even weeks after, when there was blood on her ears, she didn't complain and didn't say a word. Not even when there was a sting or pain when we cleaned her open wound.

She took it all in a stride. Because it was a decision she made.

Letters

2010-09-30T05:29:00.003+08:00

Since last year, Cavan was into writing letters. For Clem and me, for his friends. It's wonderful to receive letters from him as he will tell us how much he loves us.

Well, the letters to us aren't exactly letters, if you compare what he writes to his friends. For ours, he uses post-its, so I guess those are more like love notes.

For his friends, he fills up an A4-sized paper and it goes into an envelope.

Sometimes he shows us what he wrote. Sometimes he just passes to his friends directly. So we don't really know what else he conveys to his friends.

Here are a few samples I managed to snap photos of. I think they are really cute.

He wrote this in Sep 2009 when he was in Nursery 2. The recipient was a K2 gal who he chose to sit with from time to time. (According to the bus auntie, many kids want to sit with him so he gets to choose who he wants to sit with.) It happened that this gal was sick thus was unable to sit with him for fear of spreading germs.She was very kind to write a letter to explain. Here, Cavan reciprocated with a letter, affirming that he was still her friend.

The next one is more recent. Dated 29 Sep 2010. I'm really not sure if this should go to the gal. What would the parents think? Well, I figure that since many letters have passed us by without our knowledge of the contents, I'll just let him go ahead.

And this letter goes nicely into a recycled envelope. He likes it because it's colourful. And on it, he boldly claims that he is her best friend.

So, will the letters ever get him or us into a situation? Not yet a sticky one, I'd say. There was once I received an sms from a parent, responding to Cavan's request on a letter. What's it all about? More on that later.

Right now, I'm just crossing my fingers that the parents of the above recipient will not complain about harrassment.

#3

2010-08-14T04:36:00.000+08:00

2 Learning Points:
1. Do not jump up the Ladder of Inference. It could cost you a life.
2. They do not sell rubber in Japan (or Hakone's) convenience stores.

This test was taken on 22 Apr 2010. In the office.

I didn't really feel like going out for lunch. So decided to pack. As I passed by Watson's, clouds formed in my head. Should I just buy one and test? I picked the cheapest kit from the shelf.

As I returned to office, I didn't even care about the lunch. I tested in the toilet. Left the stick in on the table while I log on, pretending not to care. When the results showed, my head was in a muddle, my thoughts jumbled up. I tried reading the instructions over and over again, but the words just flew past my head. My hands were trembling.

My colleague, A, was in the office. I asked her to read the instructions. And to see my stick.

"It says you're pregnant."

So here comes #3.

Tokyo (21 Mar 2010 - 1 Apr 2010)

2010-05-01T00:01:00.000+08:00

Another free-and-easy trip to Japan, this time Tokyo! Would be my third trip there. Unlike our Hokkaido trip, we didn't do a fly-drive as it was not worth doing so in Tokyo. Getting around was fairly easy. We also made a 2-day trip to Hakone, which was a lovely quaint place. Should have spent more days there.

When we arrived at Narita Airport, we went to buy NEX tickets to get to Shinjuku station. When the train arrived, we promptly got up and found ourselves four seats. We settled in comfortably. Until someone came and mentioned apologetically that we have taken his seat. What? You mean the seats are assigned? We had no clue. What was revealed to us next gave us a big shock.

The car we were in was not headed for Shinjuku but another city! We had one more station's time to get ourselves (plus 2 big luggages, 1 stroller and one big backpack) across 5 cars before the train split. Either we make a mad dash when the train pulled over, or we start shifting ourselves. We decided on the latter.

We brought the kids and the stroller over first. Then Clem went back to pick up the 2 luggages. I was so worried that he couldn't make it in time and we'd be headed towards different cities. Thank God he did!

Hotels

I booked several hotels through Wotif, which was wonderful for I can see the rates going at different periods of time. If we were to book more than three days, usually there is a special rate.

The first 4 nights, we stayed at Citadines Shinjuku apartments, which was 15-20 min walk to Shinjuku station or 5 min walk to Shinjuku-Sanchome station. I liked it as it was spacious, with a kitchenette and a living area. I could cook there and there was an area for us to have our supper. There's also a park nearby which was great for a walk and pictures. If we walk down to Shinjuku station, we will pass by a lot of eateries and a Hello Kitty shop.

We stayed at different hotels as we wanted to explore different areas in Tokyo. We spent 2 nights in Asakasa Sunroute, 1 night in Hakone Suimeisou and the remaining in Sunroute Shinjuku. It was a lot of hassle carting our luggages and barang on the train. When we made the trip to Hakone, we parked our stuff at Sunroute Shinjuku and used one luggage.

Hakone

We wished we stayed longer here. There were many things to explore. By the time we reached Hakone after a 2-hour ride on the Odakyu train, it was past noon. By the time we got out it was almost 4pm and had started snowing.

Cavan was so excited, he began twirling round and round to catch the falling snowflakes while we waited for the bus at the bus stop. There was a group of Singaporean young adults there and they absolutely adored Cavan! When the bus came, there was slight trouble - Verity had fallen asleep on the stroller and we had to fold the stroller. So I carried Verity up while Clem carried the stroller and handled Cavan. Thankfully people gave up their seats to us.

Before long, the bus was stuck on the road as it tried to make its way uphill. Apparently, it was snowing so hard, vehicles kept slipping down the road. We were in limbo. I tried to understand what the driver was communicating. We were stuck on the bus for almost 2 hours. I got quite worried, whether we would be able to get back in that snow. It was past our dinner time. A kind Korean lady gave Cavan some rice crackers. Worse still, Cavan started complaining that he was feeling urgent.

Eventually I got news that the bus couldn't travel anymore. We had to get off and walk to the nearest train station which was 25 min away. Quite challenging to walk in the snow, pushing the stroller, holding the umbrella. First we had to find a toilet for Cavan and stopped by a convenience store.

Finally we got to the train station and while waiting, Clem and the kids had fun snowfighting. What a day! We so enjoyed the rest of the time in Hakone because of the snow.

Checking out the opening hours for the hot bath since we paid bath tax, must make full use!

Love this. Some mochi stuff with brown sugar syrup

Our breakfast served in room

Eating ice cream on a cold day is fun!

He, Japanese boy?

We encountered a hilarious incident. We were walking into an elevator in Takashimaya when a lady (in her late twenties) gushed over Cavan saying to her male companion "Look, Japanese boy, so cute!" She was undoubtedly a Singaporean as I recognised the accent. Then she went on to ramble about cuteness of Japanese kids, using Cavan as a reference.

I was not about to correct her, to avoid embarrassment, and to let her carry on with her adoration. Anyway, we won't see each other again.

THEN, Cavan blurted out, "Aiya, my leg veli itchy. I want to scratch!"

I didn't know how to respond. The lady's look was priceless. I didn't know who was more embarrassed - she or me.

I still laughed over that incident.

Strollers and Elevators

In Japan, they were very strict about strollers not going on the escalator. We travelled with a stroller and spent most of our time looking for an elevator. It was a major hassle! The elevators were situated at ends of buildings, sometimes another building!

Tired of walking about looking for it sometimes, Clem would carry up the stairs, with either one kid sleeping in it, with loads of winter clothes piled on.

Other times, we simply pushed the stroller up the escalator. Japanese frowned at such an act as if it were an abominable sin. We learnt to be thick-skinned. Afterall we are tourist. Certain rules do not apply to us. (Ok bad tourist)

I vowed to Clem the next time we travel, we needn't use the stroller anymore! The kids would have outgrown the stroller. At most for winter clothes, we'll lug a cabin luggage to walk around. More mobile than a stroller. Hurray!

Places

The kids had fun in Disneyland. But they feared the fireworks so they practically had their eyes and ears covered. What a waste!

Puroland is a place where girls will go gaga. Verity had fun exploring Hello Kitty's house. I couldn't resist buying the stuff too!

Inokashira Park Zoo was a nice place for kids to get close to small animals. A nice walk in the great weather!

Other usual places such as Odaiba, Meiji Shrine, Shibuya (with the 7- storey toy shop) etc. I'm starting to miss Japan already!

Supper

We had supper every night in the hotel room. It was fun to get all sorts of munchies and Japanese beverages and just chill in the hotel room. The supermarket usually slash their food prices by as much as 50% sometimes so we couldn't resist!

These are the snapshots of the trip. Till the next one!

Touched

2009-09-20T21:19:00.000+08:00

I have been touched by my children.

Just last 2 months when Clem was overseas, I slept with the 2 kids on our bed. We usually would take turns to pray before going to sleep. It was very sweet to hear the children's prayers, as they would pray whatever came to their mind.

Cavan: Dear God, I miss Daddy. I pray he will be safe and come back soon. Lord, I pray he will not go to USA because then we cannot see Daddy. In Jesus' Name, Amen!

Verity: Dear God, I love Daddy forever the more. In Jesus' Name, Amen!

One night, Cavan got up to pee. As he returned to the bed, he actually placed the blanket over me and kissed me on my cheek. I was so filled with emotion that I reached over and gave him a hug and a kiss. Then he whispered, "I love you, mommy."

A few nights ago, I was touched by Verity. This feisty gal does not display as much affection as her brother. Cavan hugs and kisses easily. And he is always full of loving words. At most Verity would just follow suit.

That night, when it was her turn to pray, she said,

"Dear God, I pray mommy not work late and not tired. Then we can play monkey. I also pray for kor kor, that no cough and no need to eat pi par kao. In Jesus' Name, Amen!"

I was not expecting this at all. She was un-guided and used the little words she knew. But she expressed her prayer with such love and sincerity, I couldn't believe it came from a two-year-old.

I am truly amazed how at such a tender age, she understood what a prayer was and what it meant to talk to God. And she knew about putting a request before God.

From these, I could see that it was God working in their lives. His Spirit reaches the hearts of the children. Verity couldn't have understood the concept of prayer as it was an abstract action. But she was able to, because she was led by the Spirit of God.

Truly, I give thanks to God. For showing Himself through the children. As much as I am touched, I am also humbled.

Sushi Making for Kids

2009-07-05T01:54:00.002+08:00

I stumbled upon a sushi making tool during Toys Fair at Taka. I was totally sold by the demo video and told Clem to buy it. He gave the box a look of disbelief and asked if it was a toy. No, I replied adamantly. It can help to make sushi beautifully. Watch the video! The usual sucker-me dragged him to see the evidence.

Yeah! Clem bought the thingy for me since it was not very ex. So no heart pain even if it doesn't work. He said he thought he only needed to buy toys for 2 kids. Now got extra kid. Hey, it's not a toy ok! I retorted.

The kids and I were so excited, we decided to make sushi for breakfast the next day.

Simple ingredients: our usual Calrose rice (just like short-grain Jap rice, except that it's not ex), canned tuna, denbu (the sweet, pink powdered codfish), sushi vinegar and seaweed.

First spread rice, tuna and denbu

Then, roll seaweed in and turn knobs

Yummy sushi done! Hassle-free! Mess-free! No more rice sticking on your hands!

You make, I eat

It was really fun and easy. Cavan had loads of fun rolling the sushi. We ended up eating so much carbo for brekkie! Even for dinner later that day, we brought the thing to our inlaws' as Cavan wanted to eat his dinner rolled up. He rolled his rice, eggs and meat in seaweed and ate.

Whatever. As long as he eats his meals.

meet-and-greets

2009-06-28T12:45:00.000+08:00

I didn't understand why people bothered to queue and wait for 15-20 min shows at shopping malls, to see prancing cartoon characters on stage. You can watch from the side, can't you?

When we were dating, I told Clem there was no way I would queue up for these in future, if we had kids.

When we had Cavan, I said Clem could queue and watch the show with our kid and I'd go shopping.

I ate my words recently. Double portion.

We joined the queue and I SAT IN at the show. And I had my picture taken with Thomas and the Fat Controller.

To be honest, I was even the one who suggested it. Seeing the ads in the papers that Thomas and Friends would be staging meet-and-greet at Marina Square, my first response was, "I must bring the kids there!"

And I was the one kiasu about the whole thing. I wanted to go for the earlier session at 11am, since the kids usually wake up really early anyway. So I planned our marketing and breakfast time, so we could get to MS really early. We reached there slightly before 10am.

We hung around the stage area and never stepped outside THE ZONE. When Clem suggested we went elsewhere, I snapped and said, "What? We came all the way for the show. What if we couldn't get in the show when the queue grew?"

Half an hour before the show, the area was cordoned off and lanes were prepared for queues. There was no one queueing. Then, a pair of siblings sat at the start of the lane. I hastened Clem to join in behind them. So there he was, with Cavan at 2nd position. I was mighty pleased.

Our kiasu act prompted everyone else to follow suit. Soon, the queue snaked round and round.

We got to sit in the first row on the floor! I felt a great sense of achievement! I participated as eagerly answering trivial bits about Thomas and Friends and toot-tootering away with the audience.

As I sat at the square and saw people around, suddenly I was brought to mind those things I said before about meet-and-greets! What a change of mentality I have now...

Can't deny the fact that kids can change you. Anything we'd do to see their happy faces. All worth it!

He Ain't Heavy, He's My Father

2009-06-28T11:07:00.015+08:00

My father told me that he fell in love with me the first moment he laid his eyes upon me after I was born. Because I looked exactly like him. Fathers are naturally proud of their daughters, what more those that resemble them.

His love was made so evidently to me throughout my growing years. And even to now, although displayed more differently now that I'm a mom. When I was little, he loved to cuddle me, tease me and see my fuming face cos that was when my mom would repeat the old mantra that my "black face" was exactly like his. I remember he loved to play with me in my semi-sleep state on weekend mornings, as he must have loved seeing my dreamy, bliss face before morphing into an irritable grouse if he were to rouse me further.

We loved to wrestle and tickle on the bed. And before long, I the loser, would start wailing and sobbing and that gave my father more reason to hug and cuddle me.

In primary school, I participated in a Chinese composition writing competition and I wrote about my father. Think I got a 2nd or 3rd prize. I would always think of my father in most occasions.

In my teenage years, my father's affection was unchanging. But I was undergoing changes as a teenager. I began to shy away from his public display of affection as I found it embarrassing. One morning, he was feeding me by mouth (he loved to share his food with me like that) at a coffeeshop and I was teased by an auntie passing by. As he held out his hand to hold mine when walking on the street, I pulled my hand away. I also stopped our cuddling acts.

My teenage years were also the time I witnessed my father's fiery temper. Perhaps it was stress from his work that caused him to throw his temper at home. Anyone who crossed his path during those times would be asking for trouble. Hence, I would always hide in my room during these storms and prayed fervently that I would not get into trouble. Sometimes, I would clash with him on purpose (I'm such a confrontational person) and I would see my personal things being destroyed, thrown away. Really, there were times I hated my father and wanted to leave home. But at the end of which, I would throw myself into his arms again when he simmered down and extended his arms to me.

There was one time I literally packed my bags and threatened to leave after an awful shouting match. He yelled that I had better change this nasty temper of mine. I retorted that he only changed when he was 45, I had 22 more years to go. Of course, I didn't leave home eventually as my mom begged and restrained me. And afterall, it was only a threat.

M wedding day must have been a bittersweet day for my father. His daughter would be handed over to another man. Before I left for my in-laws, he suddenly took out a pack of milk to feed me. I was embarrassed but to him, it was symbolic. It was supposedly his last time to indulge in me as from then on, another man would take over this role.

As I walked down the aisle with him, he asked me if I was nervous. Yes I was. He said he was nervous too. He kept talking to me as we walked, as if to reassure me. Being the father of the bride must not have been easy, keeping up that smile so his daughter could have the happiest day of her life.

I was giving my thanks after the wedding ceremony and I knew that I wouldn't be able to control my tears when talking about my father. I tried to prepare a speech beforehand but I couldn't, cos I would start to cry whenever I thought of my father's tender love towards me. I went impromptu on stage. I wept. My father wept. So did most of the guests.

Even after I was married and moved into our new house, he would often come over to scrub my sink and sharpen my knives. Yes, funny things he would do but acts that show his love. We still fought very badly at times and I regretted having acted the way I did.

As the children came, his public affection transferred to them. I saw less of it. Our interactions became more polite, less physical. I am more careful in my words and actions as my father is a sensitive man. I don't want to anger him as I did in the past and especially now that my mom is gone.

My father had been such a huge influence to me. Because of him, I am who I am now. Because of his affection, I didn't need to seek love from another guy and had healthy friendships with guy friends, instead of jumping from BGR to BGR. And I found a good man, because my father was the model. Because of his assurance and belief in me, I became a confident person.

True there are still ups and downs in our relationship but I am very proud of my father despite his shortcomings. I proclaimed this to him during my wedding and I would say it again:

If I could choose, I want you again as my father

I love you, pa.

A Boy's Views on Marriage

2009-06-16T00:12:00.000+08:00

During cell yesterday, Jo came to Yoyo and me, and told us that our kids were getting married on her patio.

Haha, yea a tad too young. Afterall, the 2 kids are only 4 years old this year. What do they know?

More than we think, I suspect. Well, nowadays, we can't underestimate how much they actually know.

Sometime back, during one of our usual casual chats, I asked Cavan if he knew what a "wife" was. He replied, "A wife means it's a girl that you love and you want to be with her forever." Not bad. (On a side note, I noticed that Cavan usually describes and defines words really well.)

After the episode yesterday, I asked him on our way home, "So, you married Bernice?" He evaded the question shyly. I probed, "Do you love her?" He nodded.

"How about Faith? Do you love her?" He nodded.

"Do you love Krisalyn?" Again, he nodded.

"Do you love Erika?" Yet again, he nodded.

"Then why don't you marry them?"

"Aiya, you can't marry everybody!" he replied, rolling his eyes in mock frustration.

Clement was so proud of his son's comments and praised him, while extolling the virtues of being faithful to one.

Then Cavan added, "The bed would be so squeezy. How can you squeeze so many people?"

That really threw us off and we roared at his spontaneous reply. There we were talking about values and the boy was concerned about practical issues. I guess at this point, he just has other priorities...

Miss Why

2009-05-31T14:14:00.004+08:00

Verity: Mummy, I want go swimming pool.

Me: No.

Verity: Huh, why?

Me: Because it looks like it's going to rain soon.

Verity: Why?

This is a typical exchange between Verity and me. The endless "whys" usually happen if the answer is "no". And I thought the whys only happen with pre-schoolers. At her age, or so I read, she should be a Miss No. Meaning, everything we ask her to do, she will say "No".

Verity challenges authority, and does whatever she wants. I have an issue with that, because no one defies me. Clement says I have found my match. We are both very stubborn. But Verity wins. Because she uses no logic nor reason. And I simply can't fight with someone without reason.

So I introduced punishment. Something I did not have to introduce to Cavan when he was very young, since he was usually very compliant.

When Verity was 8 or 9 months old, she loved to take off her shoes and bite on the shoes. One day she took them off and was about to do the un-doable. I warned her, "If you bite the shoes, Mummy is going to smack your hand."

She paused a while, took a bite on her shoe and then GAVE ME HER HAND TO SMACK. She'd rather do whatever she liked and suffer the consequence!

Really, we'll have to instil more discipline on the gal than her brother because of her strong character. Sometimes we fail, because that strong character is wrapped up in a sweet, innocent face.

Verity: Mummy, open the shweet.

Me: No.

Verity: Why?

Me: Because you are about to eat lunch. After lunch.

Verity: Mummy, open shweet now!

Me: No! Later.

Verity: Mummy, open now. I want shweet. I want shweet! (and goes on forever before screaming and crying and becomes unconsolable, then refusing lunch and everything.)

I lose.

Bye Auntie (See You Again!)

2009-04-27T23:46:00.000+08:00

Nancy went home last Fri before her contract ended.

Her estranged husband of 8 years suddenly returned home and wanted to sell her house and take her two daughters. Having no other choice, she had to return home to settle this problem (a divorce) and requested for 2 weeks' leave. I asked her if 2 weeks were really enough to settle it. I mean, divorce is really a complicated matter which is not easily settled within 2 weeks.

I was afraid she was without help and that she would be taken advantage of by her husband. In this case, it was obvious that it was money he was after. So I started to research on the Family Law in Philippines to see what options might Nancy have and read 66 pages full of legal terms.
Divorce was not allowed in the Philippines law. They can annul the marriage. To begin with, they don't have marriage certs like we do.

Armed with more knowledge, I discussed with her the options and how she could get out of it with minimal losses. This was the least I can do to help her. I was full of sympathy for her as she had left to make ends meet and to pay off debts incurred by her husband and family. Before she could even start saving a decent sum, here came one more wave to drown her with financial woes. Hence, we helped her out by paying for the bigger ticket items for her trip back.

I checked with her frequently on updates back home. My concern was whether 2 weeks were sufficient. I was relieved when she told me she managed to contact her aunt who was a lawyer. (Whoa, not bad huh, got lawyer in her family) Her aunt would help her make arrangements in her absence.

So on 17 Apr night, she left for home. Seriously, we don't know whether we'd see her again. Maybe she would decide to stay home and not come back. I've heard stories once they saw their children, they just couldn't bear to leave them again.

The next morning, I received an sms from Nancy, thanking us and saying how much she missed the 2 babies. (yes, she referred to Cavan and Verity as babies and darlings). For me, I just wanted her safely home and safely back.

When I went to church, a nursery helper told me that Nancy had mentioned to her that she was going back. And the helper gave the impression that Nancy might not return.

I was disheartened when I heard that. But we were quite prepared for that. We had to imagine the worst possible scenario so we would be prepared if that happened. I haven't heard from her one week since she left although I told to sms me once she reached home safely.

However, somehow we had the confidence that Nancy would return:

1. Her reluctance to go back. She ever mentioned that when her 2 years' contract was up, she'd rather take the money for her air ticket home than to go home.

2. She invited my dad to follow her back to the Philippines. They were quite close and I'm quite sure Nancy misses him too.

3. One night, Cavan told me that Auntie promised him a gift when she returns- chewing gum.
All these pointed to her resolve to return.

We shall see. *fingers crossed*

Smell Fetish

2009-04-19T23:42:00.002+08:00

Ok, maybe "fetish" is an exaggerated word. But Verity seems to have a thing for smelling. Especially my clothes. Then she will either give a verdict whether it's "Nice", "Yucks!" or go on smelling to no end.

I'm between being super irritated having my blouse being tugged till it turns out of shape and exposing my bra strap, and being amused at her expression.

Perhaps this is her expression of establishing closeness and attachment. To me, I am of course happy that my gal wants a piece of me. But it's kind of embarrassing to expose my skin and strap in public, however open I may be.

Anyway, just let it be. I've never been really discreet anyway. ; p

The Rainbow and God's Promise

2009-03-02T21:00:00.000+08:00

My breath was taken away, as I was walking home last Wed evening. I stopped at my track and wondered at such a beautiful sight. It was the biggest and most distinct rainbow I had ever seen.

I quickly called home and asked the kids to look out of the window while I dashed home to enjoy the moment together.

Cavan, awed by the gigantic arc across the sky, began to name the colours he saw while Verity peered through the window sill, wondering what the fuss was all about. Cavan then asked why was there a rainbow?

First, I gave a scientific explanation while trying to avoid jargons. It happens when sunlight bounces off small droplets of water in the air. It also shows God's love to us.

That night, we brought the kids out after dinner and told Cavan he could choose a book to buy. He chose one on Noah and the Ark. How nicely everything fitted into place!

That night during bedtime, we must have read the story many times. We reminded Cavan (and ourselves) that the rainbow shows us that God keeps His promises and that He loves us.

Thank you, God, for reminding us with a huge rainbow in case we miss it. Thank you for being with us every step of the way. May we not forget your presence in the midst of our busyness and continue to walk alongside with You. Amen!

Planning His Birthday

2009-02-17T19:16:00.002+08:00

I think kids probably understand better what birthdays are all about after their 3rd birthday. For the first 3, birthday parties are pretty much what the parents want. Particularly for Cavan, he was rather nonchalant and dismissively just mentioned his invitees. For the 4th, the birthday star wants a say.

Birthday Theme
For Cavan's 4th birthday, he actually told me that he wanted a Disney Cars themed birthday around late Oct/ early Nov last year. This movie was out around three years ago! I was not sure if I could find stuff for the theme. And he was insistent about it. Thankfully, he told me early so I had time to source - in ebay, Spotlight, Toys 'R Us, pasar malams. As for the cake, he had a 3D car cake for his 3rd birthday already so I settled for a Swensen's ice cream cake with McQueen printed on it.

Wish fulfilled!

Invite List
OK, he had his way in the kind of birthday party he wanted. Next, was his guest list. I asked him who he wanted to invite for his birthday. He named three - Miss Gracie, Albert and one more person I couldn't remember who. I said, is that all? He replied yes. Well, it's going to be a quiet birthday party I think. Is there anyone else you want to invite, I asked. He thought for a while and said excitedly, oh yes! Mr Bean! I said, erm ok, it's going to be very expensive flying him to Singapore. Anyone else? He thought for a while and said, Power Rangers! Trying not to discourage him, I asked gently, ok is there anyone you want to invite that you don't see on TV?

So, Cavan this time wanted a say who he wished to see at his birthday party. That morning of his birthday, he asked if Ms Lilian was coming. Oops, no we didn't invite her. From here we know he wanted to include his teacher in his birthday celebration. This year we didn't celebrate in school since his birthday fell on a Sunday.

Cavan and his little friends

Countdown
He was really excited about it this time and kept asking, is it my birthday yet, like a broken record. We would tell him his birthdate, report the day and month and how long more to go. He began to learn about the concept of time through this. We also pointed him to the calendar and he learnt the concept of days and weeks. Finally it came down to next week, three days later and TOMORROW! Ya, he was so excited he woke up at 2.30am to help with decor.

Putting up for my party!

Prayer
The birthday party was one of the items he incorporated into his nightly prayers. Gosh, I didn't know it meant so much to him! It was nice hearing him talk to God about his plans and wishes and committing them to God.

Birthday Activity
He had told me that he wanted to make his own birthday cake. The Icing Room provided just that. So we took leave the next day to bring him to decor his own cake. He was looking forward to it! And he enjoyed it! After which, he couldn't wait to eat his own cake so we had it at New York New York. He wanted to eat straight from the cake tray, instead of cutting it. So we had to finish the whole cake in one sitting! Thankfully, it wasn't big!

Having his cake and eat it

We were really glad we managed to fulfil most of his wishes except for the Mr Bean and Power Rangers bit. The greatest fulfilment was when at the end of the day, he hugged us and said, "Thank you daddy, mummy! I'm really happy today!"

100 Days

2009-01-28T08:06:00.000+08:00

Probably not the best thing to talk about during CNY, but today marks the 100th day since my mom's passing.

Till now, I find it hard to relate in detail about her death. I don't even want to think about it. I can't even bear to look at her photos. It just brings so much pain to my heart and I miss her so much.

Nevertheless, there were several thanksgivings. I'd probably blog about them next time.

I had talked about how different CNY would be without Mom, and this year we distinctly felt the difference.

Just by going to the market made me think of her. She loved the crowd and bustle during CNY, and would often go to the market during the mornings and nights to pick out the freshest. I felt I was plugging in the gap by going to the market on her behalf. We also went to the Jurong West pasar malam. No doubt it was without her, but somehow (unspokenly) we felt we had gone on her behalf.

Just passing by Chinatown made me think of her. She loved to soak in the atmosphere, never mind the crowd. I couldn't stand the crowd so we went to People's Park for a short while. I felt that I had done my duty.

Following her tradition, I bought new PJs for my kids and changed new bedsheets. Just a week ago, Dad passed me a set of PJs my mom bought for me last year. I couldn't bear to open to look at them.

I did what Mom would have done - buying Verity a set of Chinese costume. Very cheena, but Mom would have gushed with delight.

Waking up in the morning of 1st day, I thought of her veg bee hoon, her succulent meatballs with chestnuts and prawns, the smell of her sweet date soup and other foods she would prepare on 初一. I shall attempt to replicate these next time.

I was mentally prepared that Mom wouldn't be around for CNY this year but I am still coming to terms with this fact.

There are traditions from Mom that I am determined to keep, and to provide my children with these memories of CNY.

Ok, this year I was a little lazy and didn't carry them out full force. Next year then.

a child's prayer

2009-01-19T20:29:00.001+08:00

It's always sweet to hear a child's prayer, for it comes from a believing heart unhibited by the world's constraints and reason.

Here's one un-guided prayer (verbatim) from Cavan as he prayed before bed last night. Something I'd like to remember and something for him to look back on in the years to come.

"Dear God, I pray for my throat, that it will become better.

Today is not my birthday yet. Pray that myself, daddy, mummy, verity, auntie, ah gong, ah ma, yeye, ah ngin, my teachers and my friends will all be there. On my birthday. Pray that we will be happy.

We also pray for my sister. Pray that she will grow up quickly. I am a strong boy because I can carry Verity. Also pray that she will learn to talk quickly, and don't talk like a baby.

In Jesus' Name, Amen!"

Snip Snip

2008-12-27T10:56:00.000+08:00

Cavan hates going to the barber/ hairdresser. Not that I mind, for I also enjoy snipping his chops off. I find it strangely therapeutic, as I clip off uneven locks and see his hair get neater. This is as good as squeezing Clem's blackheads.

I started cutting Cavan's hair when he turned one. The haircut before that was horrible. My in-laws brought him to an inexperienced hairdresser when he was nine months old (without informing us).

I was horrified when I saw him. The hair was unevenly cut, patchy and looked that it had been bitten off. My parents couldn't take it and sent him off to a barber the next day to straighten things up.

I couldn't take it anymore and decided that I, as a mother, should have a final say over my son's hairstyle.

That's was when I became a mommy-hairdresser.

Good for us too, since Cavan's hair grows really fast and I need to cut it 2x every month.

I started out humbly using a rounded-tip scissors to prevent causing hurt to Cavan. Eventually I graduated to the hairdresser scissors and layering scissors some more!My tools

How about Cavan's reaction. Initially he didn't like it cos I would strip his clothes off, and pour powder on him. He would become warm and sticky and had the prickling hair stuck on him. Poor thing, it was uncomfortable but hey, bear with it! Before

The process

Tada!

Even when I was expecting, that didn't stop me (ya, and not even after giving birth, during confinement). Only that the bathroom was tight for me to move around and I also had to squat to cut at the nape.

I was tempted to upgrade my tools to a Philips shaving set. But I heard feedback from buyers that it is hard to control the shaver and more likely to get uneven cut. So I dropped the idea.

I was also tempted to cut Clem's hair. He would visit the barber/ hairdresser every month so I offered it free of charge.

Well, he didn't take up the offer (hmph!). So I have to rely on Cavan as my only source of therapy then. Verity? No way, that squirming gal.

One-to-one Sunday mornings

2008-12-02T18:19:00.000+08:00

On Sunday mornings, Clem would teach at 9am Children's Church. The kids also wake up early, and Cavan would insist on following daddy out. (We attend Sat service so usually we have our Sundays free.) Sometimes, Clem would bring him to church. If he is teaching, he can't bring Cavan along.

I thought it would be a good time to bond with my son over breakfast. So we trooped to Mac's one Sunday and BK the next. It was good to have this time talking to him and just spending time alone. Especially when he is now very gender-conscious and follows only daddy because he is a boy. He doesn't want to stick to me because he is not a girl. So at times like these without daddy, we can truly be together. Hope to make this a regular affair.

I would also love to spend such one-to-one time with Verity when she's older. Now, she'll only be squirming around and raring to run amok...

I luv Mac's breakfast... bcos of the toys!

Examining the Christmas decor early in the morning

Gobbling up ham and egg crossanwich all by myself...

...Also eating up mummy's hash brown and eggs

Butter also whack!

Reading & making friends at Border's

7th-Year Itch

2008-11-25T17:59:00.000+08:00

What do you do when you experience an itch? You going scratching, of course!

But in the right way ok?

After seven years of dating, Clem and I married. Now, we are married for seven years. I teased him, "Seven years already. Itchy or not?" "Yes, very itchy. Let's have another baby!" Beep, beep (but censor broke down)... Hope the above dialogue is not too R(A)!

I really don't know how my life would turn out without Clem. He's been such a pillar in my life. I'm especially thankful, cos I know I'm not an easy person to live with. I have high expectations, a sharp tongue, hate housework and chores, and literally depend on him for many things. Yet he loves me unconditionally, and gives me all he can to see me happy. I truly know from him, that love is not just an emotion but an action.

HIs love to me is extended to my family. He is a good son to my parents. Whenever my parents needed to go anywhere, he'd play chauffeur. During my mom's battle with cancer and treatment, he chauffeured her to the hospital whenever he could. When the housemen acted unprofessionally, he was there to give them a dressing down and made sure my mom received good treatment and service. When the hospital lapsed in its processes, he took the case with the hospital going up to the Medical Affairs and MP. His love for my parents touch me tremendously. I could never imagine I deserve someone like him.

I'm really grateful to God for giving me such a wonderful gift. May I will always be reminded to love him with gentleness and tenderness. Not exactly how I will normally be described. But I'll try.

Here's looking at us!

Another Trip Down Under

2008-11-18T13:56:00.004+08:00

It was a trip made on impulse. While travelling to work one Friday morning, I read from TODAY papers that AUD was going down. I smsed Clem.

Me: Aussie $ going down. Wanna consider aus for hols? Must book fast.
He: Sounds gd. Whr 2?
Me: Tasmania?
He: I was thinking more of cairns or goldcoast.

Later, I checked SQ for tickets. With the incidents (four in two mos!) facing Qantas, no way were we flying them. There were promos for Brisbane.

Our trip was sealed. In three weeks' time, we were going for hols.

In a turn of events, my mom passed away two weeks later. I wanted to cancel my trip but my dad asked us to carry on. I couldn't bear to leave him behind so I asked if he wanted to join us. At least the trip would take his mind (and ours) off the loss. He was agreeable. That said, I couldn't leave my bro behind as well so I asked my bro if he could take leave. All happening in a day, my bro got his leave approved, booked the tickets (on the same flight, Praise God!) and we were set to go in a weeks' time.

After the funeral, I quickly changed our apartment hotel to a 2-bedroom and Clem also quickly upgraded our car to a Terago. I realised that my passport did not have a validity of six months so I had to apply for one. I got the passport the day before departure and had to quickly apply for visa. Thank God everything went smoothly.

As we touched down at Brisbane International, Clem exclaimed, "Oh no!" "What?!" I asked, my heart missing three beats. "I forgot my driving license!" I sighed with partial relief. Partial because my bro could drive but I wasn't sure how confident he would be. Well, at least we thanked God he was here.

2-Bedroom Apartment at Central Summit, Springhill
We were pleasantly surprised at our apartment. It was very spacious. With a big living room and a fully furnished kitchen, it also came with a utility area with washing area, a washing machine and a dryer. I booked through the internet at $1263 for 6 nights. When I checked in, they gave me a cheaper price. $774 in total! I couldn't believe my eyes!

Ok, enough photos of the apartment. I'm beginning to appear like an estate agent.

Food
With the Aus restrictions, we weren't allowed to bring foodstuff in. All we had was one tin of Verity's milk powder. We decided that we would cook some meals and eat out for others. Woolworth supermarket became our fav haunt. As other civilisations close at 5pm, Woolworth closes at 9pm.

We would usually make breakfast, cook lunch and pack. And cook dinner, since there wasn't much night activities. Although we packed our lunches, sometimes we would also buy other stuff to go with our lunch. We saved a lot through that. Ingredients were really fresh and cheap! Breakfast included french toast, chicken porridge, ham & egg croissant, hamburg sandwich and sausages. Packed lunch included fried noodles, fried rice, sandwiches. Dinner was more sumptous, usually rice, soup, stew, a meat and a veg.

On the last day, we chanced upon a Vietnamese shop. We had beef noodles, pork chop rice and chicken rice noodles!

For the kids, I cooked porridge, macaroni and spaghetti. Having a food flask was really handy. the food remained hot for lunch and dinner (in case we were out till quite late). Other than these, Verity would demand to eat our french fries, fish, chicken and any kind of food from outside. We had to feed her first before she saw our food, cos she'd reject hers and wanted ours.

We didn't bring Cavan's milk as we thought he could jolly well drink fresh milk here. Alas, he wasn't used to drinking fresh milk hence he got diarrhoea the first day. We were at the supermarket and he kept hurrying us to go back cos he wanted to ng ng. We told him to go to a public toilet but he refused. He was partially poo-trained but still insisted on putting on a diaper. Finally we got back and he was on a diaper.

A short while later, he needed a diaper again. This time round, he really couldn't wait and Clem took the opportunity and plonked him on the toilet bowl! It worked. Poo went down the toilet bowl. For the rest of the trip, he pooed on toilet bowls, not diapers anymore! Even public toilets! Yippee!

For the rest of the trip, he drank Verity's infant formula.

Transport
This was our Terago. Together with one baby seat, one booster and a GPS, it cost us $445 for one week. Yep, cheap. And cheap fuel prices too. But parking charges, hell no.

At one location (city area), it cost us $24 for two hours. Generally parking cost $6-$12 per hour, depending on where. At certain places where you slot coins by the roadside, they were cheaper.

Now, having a GPS was really useful. It helped us to navigate, given that our two men in the front seats were, ahem, not very good with directions. Well, the GPS guaranteed that we would get to our destination, not necessarily the shortest route, as we soon found out. But the computerised female voice in that contraption became our best friend.

While travelling from place to place, I had to appease the youngest passenger. Before the car even turned out of the carpark, she already demanded to "up!" I threw in toys, books, titbits, cameras. For her to sleep, she needed to smell my clothes. For Cavan to sleep, he wanted to lie on my shoulder. I was stretched between them two so I stayed sprawled throughout the journey while they slept.

Because of this, we tried not to travel more than two hours per trip. That was why we didn't manage to go to Gold Coast and Surfer's Paradise.

I was glad to have the trip. My dad was visibly more cheery. However, the trip was too short. As everything closed by 5pm, there was nothing to do, and I felt our nights were wasted. Next time, Aussie hols need more than a week!

I was really glad to have invited my dad and bro for the trip. My dad's impression was that Australia was a nice place to stay: slow pace, cheap and fresh groceries, seemingly more affordable housing and transport, and best of all, very polite people including drivers!

We also enjoyed my bro's company. He was really fun to travel with. Even he is extremely introvert, he was very enthu and pored through the brochures to plan and discuss where to go. He was very easy going and went along with us whatever we suggested. Most of all, he was our only driver without complaints and kept his attention and concentration on the road while we went "ooh" and "aah" at the scenery.

Would love to travel with them again!

For more photos, go here.

Cavan the Constructor

2008-09-28T19:47:00.000+08:00

Recently, Cavan was quarantined at home as he had chicken pox. Not being to get out of the house, he had to find something to occupy himself. So he started playing with Imaginarium. And imagine he did.

He started constructing buildings, runways and even animals using the blocks. We had been pretty amazed how symmetrical and intricate his designs were. I tried to observe how he built. Did he have a picture in mind first? Or he just put things together as he went along? I tried to analyse how his mind worked while he was working. But of course, he wasn't interested in answering my questions. So it remained a mystery to me.

Beware of the destructor!

Chitter Chatter

2008-07-23T02:10:00.000+08:00

Verity is becoming quite a talkative girl. She loves to call out to us and blabber.

She started out at 8 months by addressing us. Not surprising, her first words were 哥哥, since she adores Cavan. even though we always refer to Cavan as kor kor. Her fav call-out was "Catch 哥哥", as it was her fav game. She scored many points with us as her next few words were "Ah ma", "papa", "mama" and not forgetting "mum mum" since she was such a foodie.

But it was funny how she progressed to call Clem from "Papa" to "Ah pa". Whenever Clem appears, she would shriek "Ah Pa!" in a loud shrill voice. So hokkien! My mum said no one taught her to say that as they would also say papa or daddy.

I supposed she took the cue from how she addresses "ah ma" (grandma) and "ah gong" (grandpa which she pronounces as "ah gerng"). Even for Nancy, in tagalog, aunt is addressed as "Tita" but Verity would call her "Ah Ta". Maybe pre-fixing an "Ah" is a form of endearment for her.

It was funnier, cos she would blabber in her normal voice but if she were to say anything with "Ah", she would go falsetto and shriek the names in such loud shrill voice.

So ah-soh!

Family Soccer Time!

2008-07-11T19:54:00.002+08:00

A Gift from Cavan

2008-07-10T10:12:00.000+08:00

This is the first time Cavan has specially gone and got something for me.

We attended a wedding dinner and on our way out, my brother-in-law got his girlfriend a flower. I'm not sure Cavan saw it but he later exclaimed very loudly, "I want to get a flower for Mommy!"

With this, he skipped and looked around for flower baskets or bouquets but could find none. He asked my father-in-law to help him look for flowers.

When he returned, he was holding a beautiful red rose gleefully.

"For you, Mommy. From Daddy," he said.

"Wow, not bad huh? Helping you score brownie points." I nudged Clem.

I accepted the rose with delight. Cavan was so sweet! He really behaved like a charming gentleman!

My heart totally melted.

June School Hols- Extended

2008-07-05T03:14:00.001+08:00

Cavan had an extended school holiday, even though we would not have wanted it to happen.

No, not that we didn't enjoy the school hols. In fact, we enjoyed the time with Cavan as we took leave to spend more time with him and bring him out. Beside the week at Bintan, we also went to the Science Centre, went bowling, watched Kung Fu Panda, had late night suppers and the swimming pool/ water playground.

The last outing to the pool really did it in. Three days later, we discovered spots and blisters on Cavan's palms, soles and buttocks. HFMD! Immediately, we brought him to see the doc. It was suspected that he caught it at the pool and Doc went rattling about some inconsiderate parents who brought their kids (with HFMD) to the pool.

Cavan had no tell-tale signs. HFMD symptoms included tiredness, lack of appetite, fever. He had no fever, no discomfort, lived everyday happily and actively. And he still ate A LOT. We thanked God that Cavan's case was not serious. He also wasn't fussy at all despite the blisters.

So to Cavan, it was a bonus- hols extended. Dad and Mom took childsick leave for a week and spent more time with him. Although this time, we had to stay home but Cavan was sooooo happy!

We spent time building stuff with lego, sang and danced with Hi-Five, went on journeys with Little Einsteins, kicked ball around the house, cycled around the house, had a DIY pizza party, played catching with Verity.

Ah, Verity. We were very worried that the gal would be infected cos she went to the pool too. And according to the doc, baby pools usually have less chlorine so there are more germs (as chlorine has a disinfecting function). But the doc advised that I continued to breastfeed Verity. The antibodies in breastmilk would guard her against the infection.

Thank God, Verity was not infected at all. We had wanted to separate the kids by putting Verity at my parents' place. But it would be troublesome to shuttle to and fro to breastfeed her. So all stayed at home. But Cavan and Verity must not stay close.

That was the most difficult thing that Cavan had to go through. Not the blisters, not the discomfort, not the ulcers. But not being to go near Verity and touch her.
During their play, Cavan sometimes forgot and we had to remind him. We felt terrible that we had to ask him to stay away from Verity in the midst of their exhilarating interaction. He sensibly told us that "I must wait until my hands have no more spots, then I can touch Verity." So he played peek-a-boo and surprise games with Verity from a distance.

So when he was certified by the doc and got clearance, the first thing he wanted to do was to hug and cuddle Verity. Verity was delighted!

Kor-kor, it is good to have you well again! Now we can kiss and cuddle and play closely together! No more from a distance!

Cavan's Message for His Daddy

2008-06-16T01:10:00.000+08:00

Cavan was hi-jacked by Grace Family Club on our way to service one Sunday. While he was being 'interviewed', I was browsing the bookstore. Recently the newsletter was sent to us and Cavan (the youngest interviewee) had the following message for his daddy:

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

Spending Family Time at Club Med Bintan

2008-06-11T00:22:00.000+08:00

Our initial plan was to go to Gold Coast. But due to my busy schedule, I hadn't the time to plan at all. So Club Med Bintan getaway was ideal. Everything was provided for and all I wanted to do was to chill out and spend time with Clem and the kids.

SETTLING VERITY
Club Med has made it easy for us. Extra room, baby cot, baby accessories such as steriliser, bottle warmer and toiletries.

For Verity's meals, I brought along a mini rice cooker and ingredients. Thankfully, their power socket was the same as Singapore's, so there was no problem using the rice cooker. I brought along rice, wolfberry, conpoy, dried silverfish, carrots and fresh fish slices. I bought the fresh slices in the morning before we departed, and packed them into 5 packs together with dry ice in a thermal cup. I packed them into smaller packs so it would be easier to take one and cook for each meal without having to thaw the whole lot. The cooler in the hotel room wasn't cold enough so we deposited them with the bar to keep in their freezer.

We would collect one pack before each meal to cook in our hotel room. Just to be sure, we used bottled mineral water to wash and cook.

Verity would have porridge every lunch and dinner. Other than that, she had milk and would be breastfed (so I tried not to drink cocktails and wines whenever I wanted to nurse her). She also snacked on bread, steamed rice and mash potatoes from our meals.

Sleep-wise, she settled for her cot the first night and during her naps (She was "upgraded" and slept with us for other nights). Other than that, she slept easily whenever she was tired, while we swam or watched night performances.

TAG TEAM
There were many sport activities at the Club but since we had the 2 kids, we couldn't participate in most of them. We could have signed Cavan up for Petit Club (for kids 2-3 years old) but we wanted family time. Maybe next time, he will go for Mini Club (for 4 years and above) should we go again.

Hence, Clem suggested we tag team. Great idea!

Since I woke up early, I went for morning swims while Clem minded the sleeping kids. In the afternoon, we took turns to mind the napping kids while Clem went for his golf game or I went suntanning. That way, we could still have time to do the things we wanted (although we would have preferred to do activities together).

CAVAN
Cavan also managed to do all the things he liked: playing at the pool, snacking, watching loads of cartoons at Cartoon Network whenever we wash up or prepared Verity's meals. Best of all, he had all the cookies and ice cream he wanted after meals.

The only regretful thing was that we might have introduced to him fear of the beach. There was a particular small pool by the beach, where sea water flowed to a fill covered by rocks. It was beautiful and we thought it could serve as a wading pool for kids. Cavan ventured in and he was sinking fast into the sand and water although the water was shallow. He was unnerved by it. But we overracted, panicked and pulled him out. Clem (carrying Verity) tried and he sank in too and had relative difficulty getting out. The sand was too soft. After this incident, Cavan refused to go to the beach although he loved playing with sand.

We didn't understand and thought he was throwing tantrums. It was only in Singapore that he revealed that he was afraid and we connected his fear to the sinking incident.

CLUB MED
We really couldn't ask for more! Great rooms, great food. There was food and drinks round the clock. The buffet spread was great though there were hits and misses. But generally good. We also drank wine and cocktails whenever we wanted.

The staff there, made up of different nationalities, were friendly. We were impressed how they doubled up as performers. We had performances during the day at the pool, at night at the theatrette and mass dances at night. These staff, including the General Manager, Sports Manager, Golf Manager and others, performed "circus acts" and dramas. They seemed to have loads of fun too!

There were also activities for families since it was family festival when we were there. Children together with parents participated in kite making and flying. And there was a parents vs children competition at one of the nightly programmes.

Generally, Club Med was packed with programmes and entertainment for anyone and everyone. Even the nights were filled with mass dances and pool parties. The atmosphere was fun and relaxing.

Will we go again? Certainly, yes!

Of Pencils and Stylus

2008-04-24T20:04:00.000+08:00

I have problems getting Cavan to write and draw on paper. He simply isn't interested. I wonder if I should be concerned, since he does his worksheets in nursery, colouring and drawing. The teacher's review (last year) was that Cavan had very strong language abilities, both in English and Chinese but showed little enthusiasm in craftwork.

Recently, I had a revelation. Cavan is not uninterested in writing and drawing. He is uninterested and uninspired by paper and pencil (or crayon, for that matter). For a long time, he often asks to doodle on our handphones and PDAs. Give him a paper and a pencil (or crayon) and he barely musters a few weak strokes. Give him a magnetic doodle board or an aqua doodle mat or a PDA and he can write his name and create pieces.

The following are some of his works. I would ask him what he drew. Below are the replies:

A girl

A dog

A happy face

Bird on a tree

Guess we've introduced him too early to a high tech world. I wonder how he's going to survive in school next time. Unless the school uses PC tablets of course. Meanwhile, we'd better "de-technologize" him and get him used to paper and pencils.

Cavan's Encounter with Mr Policeman

2008-04-09T21:37:00.000+08:00

I received a phonecall from Cavan's teacher last Friday as I was travelling home from work. I got an initial scare.

Me: "Hello?"
Ms Gracie: (sounding unsure) "Is this Mrs Yee, erm, Cavan's mother?"
Me: (growing suspicious) "Yes?"
Ms Gracie: (sounding secretive) "Mrs Yee, actually I'm calling you regarding Cavan..."
Me: (Oh dear, what has my son done) "Yyyyes?"
Ms Gracie: "Actually, I just wanted to tell you that today during school...(Oh please, hurry and tell me what's going on)... that I put a present in Cavan's bag.
Me: (relieved) "Oh..." (I wasn't sure how to respond)
Ms Gracie: "Because today, we had a police officer... (Police officer? What happened? Sounds serious!)... who gave a talk in school."
Me: "Okay..." (Still waiting for more clues)
Ms Gracie: "And later there was a quiz at the end of talk."
Me: "Okay..." (Still waiting for more clues)
Ms Gracie: "Cavan volunteered to go up and answer the police officer's question. I thought that was very brave of him, so I decided to give him a little present after that."

What a relief! I thought what happened.

So it happened that the police officer was having a little quiz that was opened to K1 & K2 kids. N1 & N2 kids weren't really asked questions as they were too young and might not know how to answer or they might be fearful to go to the front. (Cavan is in N1)

However, Cavan went up to Ms Gracie and indicated that he would like to go up and answer the officer's question. So when the officer asked for a volunteer, Cavan raised his hand.

According to Ms Gracie, Cavan did not display any fear when standing in front of the assembly and in front of the officer. When the police officer asked Cavan a series of questions, Cavan was very attentive and looked at the officer when the questions were posed. He was able to answer the officer's questions.

Ms Gracie commented that she was very impressed with Cavan on his courage, that he dared to volunteer, not knowing what questions would be asked, and that he was able to pay attention to the officer. She marvelled that this was quite rare for a child his age hence wanted to commend him.

I felt so pleased with Cavan. Both Clement and I were so proud of him.

When we reached home, Cavan did not mention about this incident at all till we probed him. He repeated the questions asked and his replies to us. He was as pleased as punch over the whole incident.

Later, he said that when he wanted to be a policeman. But even later, he changed his mind and said he wanted to be a soldier because he can shoot people. Wherever he got this notion from?

Anyway, this was a pleasant news to us. Ms Gracie can get some award for storytelling, for creating fear and suspense.

Little Munchkin

2008-03-27T18:15:00.001+08:00

Verity sure likes her food. She started semi solid at 5.5 months. While other babies started their 1st feed experimenting with several small spoons and bits, Verity decided to start with a big bang.

Her first feed was a bowl of porridge. Yes a bowl. Instead of displaying grimaces due to experiencing different textures in her mouth and coming to terms with foreign gooey stuff, she adapted with great (and quick) stride.

She yelled at my mom to quicken the feed. While my mom hurried to scoop the next mouthful, Verity was already yelling for more. So my mom had to feed very fast.

Verity was interested in every single thing we put in our mouth. Now, 1 month into eating, she has tried rice, bananas, pears, ice cream, beancurd, buns, bread, and durians. If we refuse to feed her anything we're eating, she would grimace, pout, shake her fists and stamp her feet.

We are breeding an eating machine.

Guess this can't be helped, since both Clement and I are the buffet-eater type.

Now that foods are more interesting, Verity shows less interest being breastfed. She would get so distracted by her surrounding that it become pointless to breastfeed. Suck suck, turn around, look around. Turn back and suck suck, turn around, look around. I'll keep pushing her face back but the same cycle would occur, as if internally programmed. I figure I should stop battling with breastfeeding and not get too emotional. I come to terms with the fact that I breastfeed as her snack, no longer a staple food.

Eat well, babe!

Standing up for himself

2008-02-27T17:26:00.000+08:00

It is not unknown to family and friends that Cavan does not really have a temper. He is rarely aggressive. Even when someone pushes him or snatches his toys, he does not retaliate nor fight back. He only whines. And complains. He complains to the teacher or the parent of the aggressor.

This definitely worries me, cos I'm afraid he'd end up being bullied in school next time.

As parents, it would be wrong for us to tell him to fight back, even though that option was so tempting. All we can advise is, for him to say "No!", "Stop it!" or "Don't..." to signal that the behaviour displayed by the aggressor is undesirable. But knowing kids, who would take such retort seriously?

This CNY came the turn of events. We were at my uncle's house and all the kiddos were playing and roughing it out in the bedroom. My 2.5 year old grandniece, a brassy gal, was harassing Cavan. She pushed him, stepped on him, poked him. Cavan seemed helpless as he repeatedly told her no, and tried to steer clear of her.

Finally, he felt that he had had enough.

When he saw the gal coming at him again, he clenched his fist, went to her, held her by the shoulders and pushed her a few steps.

My heart stopped a few beats. I was taken aback by what I saw. I wanted to intervene, but seeing that Cavan wasn't going to hurt her, I stopped myself.

Cavan held her so she won't fall over. Shocked, she wailed and left the room.

Cavan was visibly shaken too, as he stood there for a second, realising what he had done.

Suddenly, he threw his hands up in the air and shouted triumphantly, "Yeah! YEAH!" His cousins rejoiced with him in his victory.

He gave me a glance to see if I disapproved. I was careful in my response. I didn't want to appear angry cos he managed to assert himself. I didn't want to rejoice with the rest cos I didn't want to give the wrong signal.

Seeing my non-reaction, he seemed relieved and continued to play with his cousins.

Inside me, I was secretly pleased. At least I know that Cavan would stand up for himself.

If he had to.

Mum's Cookling & CNY

2008-02-20T22:11:00.000+08:00

I recently read a quote "Food was my mom's way of pampering us". This quote succinctly described exactly how I felt and caused my eyes to well. Yes, not only that, I told my friend. Mom's cooking is also about the memories it leaves behind. Memories of childhood. Memories of tradition. And I felt it most strongly this year.

Due to my mom's poor health, she was not able to cook much this CNY. She lost her sense of taste and could not eat properly (ulcers on her mouth and tongue, and water in her lungs) due to her chemo treatments. She actually forgoed having reunion dinner at home cos she was totally not in the mood to prepare and cook. That was very unlike her. She was a very tough woman and nothing could replace such traditions. This year, she had to "surrender" as her condition really pulled her down.

Maybe it's age. I started getting very nostalgic about CNY.

Missed seeing my parents squat over the charcoal stove, making and rolling love letters, and smelling the fragrance as it filled the corridor.

Missed seeing them kneading dough and making egg cakes with moulds that churned out delicious goldfish-shaped and seashell-shaped cakes.

Missed visiting together the wet market during late nights the week before CNY to elbow the crowd, choosing best of seafood, meat and greens.

Missed the smell and taste of fried nian gao on the 1st day of CNY.

It's always the case where you'll start to treasure the things when they are absent. Things you were almost sure to happen everyday, every year. From this episode, I know I can't take them for granted anymore. I relish every moment, every dish my mom is able to prepare for us now.

Yes, mom's cooking is about the memories it leaves behind. I thank my mom for the lovely memories. And I treasure every moment we have right now.