I recently read a quote "Food was my mom's way of pampering us". This quote succinctly described exactly how I felt and caused my eyes to well. Yes, not only that, I told my friend. Mom's cooking is also about the memories it leaves behind. Memories of childhood. Memories of tradition. And I felt it most strongly this year.
Due to my mom's poor health, she was not able to cook much this CNY. She lost her sense of taste and could not eat properly (ulcers on her mouth and tongue, and water in her lungs) due to her chemo treatments. She actually forgoed having reunion dinner at home cos she was totally not in the mood to prepare and cook. That was very unlike her. She was a very tough woman and nothing could replace such traditions. This year, she had to "surrender" as her condition really pulled her down.
Maybe it's age. I started getting very nostalgic about CNY.
Missed seeing my parents squat over the charcoal stove, making and rolling love letters, and smelling the fragrance as it filled the corridor.
Missed seeing them kneading dough and making egg cakes with moulds that churned out delicious goldfish-shaped and seashell-shaped cakes.
Missed visiting together the wet market during late nights the week before CNY to elbow the crowd, choosing best of seafood, meat and greens.
Missed the smell and taste of fried nian gao on the 1st day of CNY.
It's always the case where you'll start to treasure the things when they are absent. Things you were almost sure to happen everyday, every year. From this episode, I know I can't take them for granted anymore. I relish every moment, every dish my mom is able to prepare for us now.
Yes, mom's cooking is about the memories it leaves behind. I thank my mom for the lovely memories. And I treasure every moment we have right now.
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