Temper

I've always had a short fuse, got impatient easily and let small things bother me a lot. However, at our last cell meeting, we discussed about patience and were asked to rate our patience from a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being most impatient, 10 being most patient). I rated myself 6 as a reflection of the present.

I would have given myself a 2 or 3 in the past.

Well, I still am impatient at times but I've learnt to let go and take life more easily. What changed me? Motherhood, I must say.

I started becoming careful how I conducted myself in front of Cavan. His watchful eyes and perceptive spirit always put me in check. He always senses it when I'm unhappy and is quick to stop my temper from brewing. Here are a few ways:

* When I'm angry (usually with Clement) and I rattle on and on, he would cover my mouth and says, "Mummy, stop."
* When I sulk, he would coax me and says, "Mummy, don't be angry. Smile!"
* When he senses I'm about to confront Clement for something I'm unhappy about, he would hold my hand and says, "Mummy, let's go."

Cavan understands more biblical principles and applies them more than I do. That we should stop certain actions or thoughts that will lead us to sin. That we should leave the scene that will cause us to sin (just as Joseph did, when he fled).

I'm truly thankful to God for this son as a gift. God sent Clement as a gift to love me and accept me unconditionally. And He sent Cavan as another gift to cause me to be more self-aware, to change me. God is indeed gracious.