Standing up for himself

It is not unknown to family and friends that Cavan does not really have a temper. He is rarely aggressive. Even when someone pushes him or snatches his toys, he does not retaliate nor fight back. He only whines. And complains. He complains to the teacher or the parent of the aggressor.

This definitely worries me, cos I'm afraid he'd end up being bullied in school next time.

As parents, it would be wrong for us to tell him to fight back, even though that option was so tempting. All we can advise is, for him to say "No!", "Stop it!" or "Don't..." to signal that the behaviour displayed by the aggressor is undesirable. But knowing kids, who would take such retort seriously?

This CNY came the turn of events. We were at my uncle's house and all the kiddos were playing and roughing it out in the bedroom. My 2.5 year old grandniece, a brassy gal, was harassing Cavan. She pushed him, stepped on him, poked him. Cavan seemed helpless as he repeatedly told her no, and tried to steer clear of her.

Finally, he felt that he had had enough.

When he saw the gal coming at him again, he clenched his fist, went to her, held her by the shoulders and pushed her a few steps.

My heart stopped a few beats. I was taken aback by what I saw. I wanted to intervene, but seeing that Cavan wasn't going to hurt her, I stopped myself.

Cavan held her so she won't fall over. Shocked, she wailed and left the room.

Cavan was visibly shaken too, as he stood there for a second, realising what he had done.

Suddenly, he threw his hands up in the air and shouted triumphantly, "Yeah! YEAH!" His cousins rejoiced with him in his victory.

He gave me a glance to see if I disapproved. I was careful in my response. I didn't want to appear angry cos he managed to assert himself. I didn't want to rejoice with the rest cos I didn't want to give the wrong signal.

Seeing my non-reaction, he seemed relieved and continued to play with his cousins.

Inside me, I was secretly pleased. At least I know that Cavan would stand up for himself.

If he had to.

Mum's Cookling & CNY

I recently read a quote "Food was my mom's way of pampering us". This quote succinctly described exactly how I felt and caused my eyes to well. Yes, not only that, I told my friend. Mom's cooking is also about the memories it leaves behind. Memories of childhood. Memories of tradition. And I felt it most strongly this year.

Due to my mom's poor health, she was not able to cook much this CNY. She lost her sense of taste and could not eat properly (ulcers on her mouth and tongue, and water in her lungs) due to her chemo treatments. She actually forgoed having reunion dinner at home cos she was totally not in the mood to prepare and cook. That was very unlike her. She was a very tough woman and nothing could replace such traditions. This year, she had to "surrender" as her condition really pulled her down.


Maybe it's age. I started getting very nostalgic about CNY.

Missed seeing my parents squat over the charcoal stove, making and rolling love letters, and smelling the fragrance as it filled the corridor.

Missed seeing them kneading dough and making egg cakes with moulds that churned out delicious goldfish-shaped and seashell-shaped cakes.

Missed visiting together the wet market during late nights the week before CNY to elbow the crowd, choosing best of seafood, meat and greens.

Missed the smell and taste of fried nian gao on the 1st day of CNY.

It's always the case where you'll start to treasure the things when they are absent. Things you were almost sure to happen everyday, every year. From this episode, I know I can't take them for granted anymore. I relish every moment, every dish my mom is able to prepare for us now.

Yes, mom's cooking is about the memories it leaves behind. I thank my mom for the lovely memories. And I treasure every moment we have right now.

Happy V-Day

This year, we decided to spend V-Day with Cavan. We wanted to devote one-to-one time with him. When Verity was around, he was big brother enough to give most of the attention to her without complaining. So for today's outing, no Verity. He was so happy and told his baby sis, "Bye Verity, we're going out! See you later!" with a smug face.

Even though he might not understand what is V-Day (and we didn't mention anything about it), he was sure in a loving mood today! Usually he was already sweet and dovey, but today's dosage was doubled! He kept telling us, "I love you, daddy and mummy!" and kept wanting to hold both our hands as we walked. Even when we were seated in the car or restaurant, he would put his arm around us and gave us a tight squeeze. We simply soaked in his saccharin sweetness.

Happy Valentine, our dear son! We love you too! Sooooo much!