recess time

To Cavan, empowerment comes in a form of a school recess time.

Till primary one, he's never had money in his hands, with the freedom to buy anything he loves, without Mommy hovering over him, saying 'no' to this and that.

For his first week at school, I didn't know what to expect, so I gave him $1.50 on top of packing ham sandwiches for him.

On the first day, I watched him from a distance at the school canteen. He ate his sandwiches and drank from his water bottle. Then he got up from his seat and walked around, in fact two rounds, the school canteen. Then he queued up at the drinks stall.

He returned to his seat with one siew mai.

When he was done, he threw the waste away and disappeared into another part of the canteen, hidden from where I was standing. He didn't appear for quite some time, and I was getting restless.

Then he emerged with a bowl of noodles.

I looked at my watch and panicked. There were 5 more minutes before recess time was over.

I caught his eyes and signalled him to hurry up. By then, the teacher was making announcements and students started streaming into the school hall. I was relieved when he managed to finish his bowl of noodles just as the bell rang.

That evening, I asked whether he was hungry. Why did he buy so much food and kept walking around the canteen?

His reply, "I haven't tried all the food yet!"

I was very amused by his reply. I told him that recess time is not buffet time. It's not for him to try out all the stalls.

* * * * * * * * * *

That week, he kept having noodles for recess. I was getting concerned that he was overeating. Just one week into school he was gaining.

So I told him no more noodles.

One day, he proudly told me after school that he didn't buy noodles. I was pleased until he said,

"I bought rice."

Faint.

* * * * * * * * * *

He lost his scissors at school. So I decided to punish him to teach him about being responsible for his own belongings. The punishment had to correspond to the nature of the deed, so I told him that he would not get pocket money for 2 days and the money will be used to buy a new pair of scissors.

It was a heavy sentence. To him.

He broke down and cried and said how sorry he was and he would never lose his things again. I felt sorry for him but punishment had to be meted out. He had to learn consequences.

So I consoled him that we would still pack food for him to eat. He would not go hungry.

Later he found his scissors and was very very glad.

Still, I decided to take away his pocket money and discussed with him.

My explanation was that he went to school after lunch and he would have dinner after school. He won't starve. We'd pack him stuff to eat in school.

He agreed. I was relieved.

At least a step to check that weight gain.

Maybe he was not ready for that 'empowerment'. Well, perhaps gradually. He still got pocket money when he had CCA and he could eat whatever he liked.

I was ok with this. Afterall, it was only once a week.

Pri 1 Registration

This three words. So potent. Mention them to any parent with 4-5 year-olds, and they send hearts palpitating.

Many parents start to scramble and look for "good" schools around their area. Not good schools? Shift to a new place. To increase chances, dig for their primary school report books, do volunteer work... whatever. As long as it guarantees a place in that school.

I am more the bochap parent. My expectations are simple:
1. Must be co-ed. What to do, I have kids of both gender.
2. Must be near home. I think in terms of convience of sending and fetching. And to consider CCA.

Too bad, both Clem's and my primary schools closed down. So we will go the traditional track - go by proximity and cross our fingers that it doesn't require balloting.

The next question put us in a dilemma. So should we consider a school near our CURRENT home or our FUTURE home (which will be ready in 2-3 years' time)? Whichever school Cavan goes to will determine our lives for the next 12 years!

Unfortunately, our property developer decided to be reaaaaally conservative and gave a late TOP. Which means we won't qualify for the school near our future home. We are just one quarter short.

Clem suggested doing parent volunteer. This, I'm dead against. I'm not going to pump in 40 hours or more to get my kids into a school! There are so many schools in Singapore, I don't believe there isn't a school my child can get into? It's just not worth my time. If I want to volunteer, I will, after my child has gotten into the school because I want to give back to the school. Not "volunteering" with an ulterior motive. That isn't "volunteering" anymore, just "buying" a place in the school with our time. What's worse, some schools have bad ethics - take in more volunteers than they have places for. Some parents did volunteer work and ended up being balloted out! Good grief!

As the date drew nearer to the registration, I thought hard and started feeling bad. What if, for all Cavan's potential, he didn't get the opportunity to develop it because he is in a less-than-optimal system? Then Clem, in all his wisdom, said,

"God is more interested in our children's future than us."

I hung on to this revelation. It was very liberating. I let go and let God.

Since we fell short of the TOP date by one quarter, we decided to register for the school near our current home. Afterall, we have received positive comments from friends from the MOE that this school was quite good.

I didn't expect it to be THAT good. When Clem called the school, the adminstrator was confident that we could get in cos we just stayed across the street. It turned out later that there were 125 vying for 87 spots! We had to ballot!

Though I was anxious, I had peace of mind. God was in charge. Besides, I didn't have any expectations so, no pressure. At most, go the other school down the street.

The day came for the balloting. There were many PRs. They got 1 balloting slip, while the Singaporeans got 2. I must commend the principal for conducting the session so well. I felt he was very empathetic and the entire process was very transparent. I liked him very much that I really wished Cavan would get in.

The PRs were lucky. With only 1 slip, many of them still got a place. When they picked the 78th spot, it was Cavan. Thank God!

Not to be xenophobic, but I thought it was unfair to put PRs and Singaporeans together in a balloting process. Though Singaporeans received 2 balloting slips, they were still thrown in together with the PRs for the balloting.

Anyway, Cavan is going to have many multinational friends. What will happen in 1-2 years' time when we shift? I have no idea. Will leave it in God's hands.