To Cavan, empowerment comes in a form of a school recess time.
Till primary one, he's never had money in his hands, with the freedom to buy anything he loves, without Mommy hovering over him, saying 'no' to this and that.
For his first week at school, I didn't know what to expect, so I gave him $1.50 on top of packing ham sandwiches for him.
On the first day, I watched him from a distance at the school canteen. He ate his sandwiches and drank from his water bottle. Then he got up from his seat and walked around, in fact two rounds, the school canteen. Then he queued up at the drinks stall.
He returned to his seat with one siew mai.
When he was done, he threw the waste away and disappeared into another part of the canteen, hidden from where I was standing. He didn't appear for quite some time, and I was getting restless.
Then he emerged with a bowl of noodles.
I looked at my watch and panicked. There were 5 more minutes before recess time was over.
I caught his eyes and signalled him to hurry up. By then, the teacher was making announcements and students started streaming into the school hall. I was relieved when he managed to finish his bowl of noodles just as the bell rang.
That evening, I asked whether he was hungry. Why did he buy so much food and kept walking around the canteen?
His reply, "I haven't tried all the food yet!"
I was very amused by his reply. I told him that recess time is not buffet time. It's not for him to try out all the stalls.
* * * * * * * * * *
That week, he kept having noodles for recess. I was getting concerned that he was overeating. Just one week into school he was gaining.
So I told him no more noodles.
One day, he proudly told me after school that he didn't buy noodles. I was pleased until he said,
"I bought rice."
Faint.
* * * * * * * * * *
He lost his scissors at school. So I decided to punish him to teach him about being responsible for his own belongings. The punishment had to correspond to the nature of the deed, so I told him that he would not get pocket money for 2 days and the money will be used to buy a new pair of scissors.
It was a heavy sentence. To him.
He broke down and cried and said how sorry he was and he would never lose his things again. I felt sorry for him but punishment had to be meted out. He had to learn consequences.
So I consoled him that we would still pack food for him to eat. He would not go hungry.
Later he found his scissors and was very very glad.
Still, I decided to take away his pocket money and discussed with him.
My explanation was that he went to school after lunch and he would have dinner after school. He won't starve. We'd pack him stuff to eat in school.
He agreed. I was relieved.
At least a step to check that weight gain.
Maybe he was not ready for that 'empowerment'. Well, perhaps gradually. He still got pocket money when he had CCA and he could eat whatever he liked.
I was ok with this. Afterall, it was only once a week.
