Clem is a very hands-on dad while I confess to be a lazy mom. Well, I've made it clear to him at the beginning even before we were married (read: disclaimer... haha!) that I'm going to be a lazy mom cos I can't stand doing chores and I'm not as patient as him.
Clem has been the perfect dad. 100%. I have been deeply moved by the things he had done for Cavan and in a way, he did it for me. Last June was the 1st Father's Day for him. I got him a card and wrote the following on behalf of Cavan, who was 4 months old then. This is so that Cavan can know what his dad did for him.
"Dear Daddy,
although I am only 4 months, you have already done so many things for me:
~ when I went home at 3 days old, mummy did not have milk for me yet. You were afraid I would get thirsty so you fed me water, spoon by spoon very patiently.
~ you were the one who bathed me when mummy was in confinement. And you sang me songs and talked to me while you did that, so I won't be afraid.
~ I had colic for almost 3 weeks everyday when I turned 3 weeks old. I would cry and cry and cry. Nothing could calm me. You went without sleep and carried me and rocked me, so mummy could rest. Eventually I would be so comforted that I fell asleep together with you, with my head on your chest.
~ I liked it when you read to me especially when you held my hand to feel the crispy house and the woolly sheep.
~ When I woke up for night feeds you would wake up and prepare the bottle for me. You have never complained about losing your sleep.
~ You would sit me on your lap and sing songs to me. I still remember the songs you sang when I was in mummy's tummy. And that we always played "catch".
~ I really loved to look at your face and listening to your voice. They are so filled with love.
There are so, so many things you have done for me. This card is too small to contain.
Thank you, Daddy, for loving me. And thank you for loving mummy. I don't know how to repay you for your unconditional love. But right now, I know I can love you back. You are my world. All I have now comes from you. So when I look at you and smile and kick my legs and wave my arms, I am actually saying, "I love you, Daddy!"
Love, Baby Cavan
June 2005
I just want to tell my beloved hubby "Happy Father's Day"!
Saturday, June 17, 2006
Monday, June 12, 2006
Character
Since Cavan was an infant, we had known him to have a mild temper. Even when he cried, it was not a bawling-kind of cry. Just a soft whimper with a pout even though he was hungry or uncomfortable from a soiled nappy.
Well, we can say that Cavan has a gentle spirit which is totally unlike me. People called him a "gentleman". He takes after his dad in this aspect.
As he grew, this personality became more distinct as we saw his interaction with other kids. Most of the time, if he were to play with a toy and someone comes along and snatches it away, he would just move to another toy.
I witnessed how he was "bullied" by a kindergartner. A 6-yr-old girl was playing a toy piano at a store. Cavan went up to her, observed for a while and "asked" if he could join in. (Usually he would "talk" to the person first when wanting to share something.) Then his little fingers dabbled at the keys. To my surprise, the gal took Cavan's hand and flung it off. Was Cavan's ego badly bruised? Not at all. He tried again and received the same treatment.
With these, he left for other toys. But I was fuming. This gal has no manners! I looked at her mom and gave a see-what-your-daughter-did kind of look. The mom told her "Share with didi." The gal called Cavan back. Of course, by this time, Cavan couldn't be bothered with her at all.
As for me, I was quite disturbed. I told Clem "Bebe has no fighting spirit! So unlike me!" Clem looked at me and asked, "Is this what you want our son to be? To learn how to fight?" Clem's philosophy was that you don't need to be aggressive to get your way. And you don't need to always get your way. He explained that Cavan could do without these stuff hence he could do without a fight (or a cry). He is secure and confident.
That really brought my senses back. I should let my son grow in his spirit and emotion, without expectation of what is the "right" behaviour.
Well, we can say that Cavan has a gentle spirit which is totally unlike me. People called him a "gentleman". He takes after his dad in this aspect.
As he grew, this personality became more distinct as we saw his interaction with other kids. Most of the time, if he were to play with a toy and someone comes along and snatches it away, he would just move to another toy.
I witnessed how he was "bullied" by a kindergartner. A 6-yr-old girl was playing a toy piano at a store. Cavan went up to her, observed for a while and "asked" if he could join in. (Usually he would "talk" to the person first when wanting to share something.) Then his little fingers dabbled at the keys. To my surprise, the gal took Cavan's hand and flung it off. Was Cavan's ego badly bruised? Not at all. He tried again and received the same treatment.
With these, he left for other toys. But I was fuming. This gal has no manners! I looked at her mom and gave a see-what-your-daughter-did kind of look. The mom told her "Share with didi." The gal called Cavan back. Of course, by this time, Cavan couldn't be bothered with her at all.
As for me, I was quite disturbed. I told Clem "Bebe has no fighting spirit! So unlike me!" Clem looked at me and asked, "Is this what you want our son to be? To learn how to fight?" Clem's philosophy was that you don't need to be aggressive to get your way. And you don't need to always get your way. He explained that Cavan could do without these stuff hence he could do without a fight (or a cry). He is secure and confident.
That really brought my senses back. I should let my son grow in his spirit and emotion, without expectation of what is the "right" behaviour.
Thursday, June 08, 2006
Sand-sational!
Been looking forward to the trip to Sentosa. We're sure Cavan would love it too since he's an active baby and loves to explore new stuff.
This was the very 1st time he's seen and played with sand. He couldn't keep his hands off the sand. Initially, he kept grabbing a handful then see it slowly dribble to the ground. Oftimes, he forgot and put his sandy hand to his mouth and had to call for help to remove sand from his mouth...
His sand-skills upgraded to scooping and emptying the spade off a container (in this case, his truck). Although he loved the water, this time he'd rather do the scooping job as the salty water proved too sizzling to his eyes.
This was the very 1st time he's seen and played with sand. He couldn't keep his hands off the sand. Initially, he kept grabbing a handful then see it slowly dribble to the ground. Oftimes, he forgot and put his sandy hand to his mouth and had to call for help to remove sand from his mouth...
His sand-skills upgraded to scooping and emptying the spade off a container (in this case, his truck). Although he loved the water, this time he'd rather do the scooping job as the salty water proved too sizzling to his eyes.
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