Character

Since Cavan was an infant, we had known him to have a mild temper. Even when he cried, it was not a bawling-kind of cry. Just a soft whimper with a pout even though he was hungry or uncomfortable from a soiled nappy.

Well, we can say that Cavan has a gentle spirit which is totally unlike me. People called him a "gentleman". He takes after his dad in this aspect.

As he grew, this personality became more distinct as we saw his interaction with other kids. Most of the time, if he were to play with a toy and someone comes along and snatches it away, he would just move to another toy.

I witnessed how he was "bullied" by a kindergartner. A 6-yr-old girl was playing a toy piano at a store. Cavan went up to her, observed for a while and "asked" if he could join in. (Usually he would "talk" to the person first when wanting to share something.) Then his little fingers dabbled at the keys. To my surprise, the gal took Cavan's hand and flung it off. Was Cavan's ego badly bruised? Not at all. He tried again and received the same treatment.

With these, he left for other toys. But I was fuming. This gal has no manners! I looked at her mom and gave a see-what-your-daughter-did kind of look. The mom told her "Share with didi." The gal called Cavan back. Of course, by this time, Cavan couldn't be bothered with her at all.

As for me, I was quite disturbed. I told Clem "Bebe has no fighting spirit! So unlike me!" Clem looked at me and asked, "Is this what you want our son to be? To learn how to fight?" Clem's philosophy was that you don't need to be aggressive to get your way. And you don't need to always get your way. He explained that Cavan could do without these stuff hence he could do without a fight (or a cry). He is secure and confident.

That really brought my senses back. I should let my son grow in his spirit and emotion, without expectation of what is the "right" behaviour.