Reasons for Having Three

(From 2010...)

When you are pregnant, you can expect these 3 common questions from people, even strangers:

1. How many months?
2. Is it a boy or girl?
3. It's your number...

The interesting part comes after this. People will start speculating the gender of the kid(s) you already have. The conversation continues from question 2...

Me: It's a girl.
A: It's your number...
Me: 3.
A: So you have 2 boys?

There's where assumption kicks in.

People readily assume that you're trying for a gender you don't already have, that's why you have 3 kids. So is there really a reason for having 3? Let's analyse the reasons for having 1 and 2 first.

Baby #1 happens for various reasons: Parents are ready, parents are not ready (so-called accidents), erm I can't think of anymore. Make that 2 reasons then.

Baby #2 happens for more reasons: Because the 1st one is a boy/ girl, and parents are (secretly) hoping for a different gender (Don't believe them if they say it doesn't matter); Because the 1st is lonely and needs a playmate; Because parents believe in one-to-one replacement rate (ok, I'm kidding for this one. Who seriously thinks for the nation when it comes to procreation?)

Now, Baby #3. There are parents who are really trying for a different gender if the 1st 2 are repeats. Or parents grow up in a big family and would like the same bustle around at home. Or parents simply like kids and don't mind having more.

What about OUR reason? Before it happened, I don't have a reason for having #3. One boy, one girl is already perfect. Foodcourt seats are designed for a family of 4. NDP tickets are restricted to 4. Coin-operated kiddy rides are designed for at most 2 riders. When you go on amusement rides, you go in pairs. If you live in a four-room flat, each of the kids get his/ her own room. Each of the parent holds one child, just nice.

People asked whether it was planned or accident. I said for Clem it was planned. For me, it was an accident. My gynae called it accidently planned. Whatever it was, it happened.

Now that it happened, I began to see the up-side.

Having come from a family of 2 kids, the benefit of having more siblings only occurred to me after I got married.

I realised how quiet and empty my house became after I married. That's why I tried to go back as much as I could. It got worse after mom passed away, leaving pa and bro. It's just my bro and I trying to handle family affairs together, taking care of parents' needs, and sometimes I wish there was another sibling to share, to discuss.

#3 is really God-given and a blessing. I guess there are adjustments to be made, and more expenses. And I always tell Clement that he is such a good dad that he deserved to have more children (sorry, but after this, STOP!).

I'm proud to say I'm a mom of 3. I think it's so cool. Cavan was delighted to have another sibling. As for Verity, I feel sorry for her. I really wanted her to be the baby of the family, the princess of the family. For Verity's sake, I would have felt better if #3 were a boy. But then, it's God-given and I would not have it another way.

I'm looking forward to a noisy family setting. Already, we can hardly hear ourselves talk with the 2 loudly demanding 100% of our attention. How, with one more, I always asked Clem playfully. When I see Clem fooling around with the 2 at home, I would imagine another young one toddling along and it brought so much warmth to my heart.

I'm looking forward to you joining our family, Vesper.