Cavan's dedication on Christmas Day 2005

Me & Mummy

Milestones

Here are several of Cavan's development milestones that we'd like to remember:'

2 weeks old
- reaches out for objects
- showed interest in books, newspapers, PDA. Got excited by kicking and waving arms when these are shown to him. Can maintain eye contact with these objects for a long while, as if reading contents.
- smiles...

5 weeks old
- same trademark expression when excited: waves arms and kicks legs. When overly excited, straighten arms and legs

7 weeks old
- reaches out for objects and wants to grab them.

8 weeks old (2 months)
- Lifts head when lying on stomach

9 weeks old
- babbles and 'talks' in vocab like "yea", "lah lah". Shrieks when excited

12 weeks old (3 months)
- grabs things. Able to hold own bottle.
- Laughs loudly
- smiles at anyone, even newscaster on TV

15 weeks
- turns from back to stomach
- neck stablilises but still jerky. Can carry upright without needing to support his head.

20 weeks old (4 months)
- flips several times. Head and neck more firm.
- sits with support
- likes to tap on things, on people and kick things

5 months old
- sits in baby chair

5 and half months old
- sings with good tempo and tune "Dada..."
- eats baby biscuits (1st solids)

6 months old
- eats porridge
- starts to scream loudly
- starts to discriminate against strangers
- object permanence
- makes funny faces

Examining the soccerball...

Cavan's 1st trip out of Singapore

We brought Cavan to Grace Retreat at K.L., Malaysia, 13-17 June 2005. Drove as a group and TC & family. Thank God, Cavan did not fuss as we put him in his car seat. Watching the trees pass by and the big blue sky, he got drowsier and drowsier and finally, fell asleep!

After the 4-hour ride (or so), we finally reached Sheraton Hotel.

Cavan had enjoyed his 1st swim at the pool during the retreat. He also had a wonderful time with his friend, Faith, although they had quite an enounter...

Faith: Hey, there's Cavan!
Cavan: La la la la la...












Faith: Hmmm... Is anyone looking?
Cavan: Hm?











Faith: Muaaaarck!
Cavan: *Gasp!*










Cavan: Will mommy scold me?

Passport Photo

This was taken when Cavan was 13 weeks old. We needed a photo for his passport so we looked for one that showed his features clearly. This seemed ok except that the background has to be white. So we did a bit of touch-up.








We also cut off his hair that was sticking out. After changing the properties to suit ICA's specs, we sent the softcopy to apply for his passport. Yep! It went through!

7 weeks old

Instruction:

To stick out tongue, press cheek firmly.

Looking up

5 weeks old

Confinement 'man-ny"

Many people would engage a confinement nanny. Clem was my confinement nanny. And he did it so well. From caring for baby, cooking my confinement meals to doing all the housework.

The only thing I did was to dispense milk.

Even then, whenever I get ready to nurse, he would prepare hot towels to massage my breasts and a warm glass of milk or honey to "bring on" BM. Same routine even in the middle of the nights.

Food-wise, it was more than what I could ask for. As my confinement was in the same period as CNY, markets weren't open. My mom stocked up one month's supply of meat, liver, fish, veg etc. Clem would take stock of what's in the fridge and plan every meal. If in doubt, he would ask his mom who is another great cook. Usually he would whip up a healthy 4-dish meal consisting of fish, meat, veg and soup. In return of his love, I would gobble up everything he cooked. I suspect it was becos of this that I did not manage to bring my weight down.

The only thing that my tastebud still couldn't agree with was his ginger french toast. It was normal french toast, dipped in egg, except that it was sprinkled with shredded ginger. Shudder.

Initial struggles

Somehow, my mom and mom-in-law couldn't be with us daily to help out as arranged. Clement & I had to do everything on our own. It was tough in the initial week. I was still recovering from my stitches and both of us learning about our new baby and having to do eveything ourselves. Finally, the crunch came when my stitches dropped off and my wounds opened up. I went back to my gynae and he asked if I had moved around too much. That same day, we also brought baby to the PD. He was surprised that baby hadn't put on weight despite me feeding him sufficiently. He asked if I had been on a diet. The truth is at times, we were so overwhelmed and tired that we skipped meals. That could be the reason.

I went home and wept, as I felt so helpless. I also felt guilty about baby not putting on weight.

Clement consoled me and encouraged me. I know it had been hard on him too, cos he's been the one doing everything.

But through this, we learnt so much more without having to rely on our parents. Our parents had also been much help whenever they can. What we appreciated most was the fact that they reserved much of their comments to themselves. They left it to us to try it out on our own, without piling on unsolicited advices. They understood it was time for us to grow...

God's Amazing Creation

Having a baby in itself is a miracle. It's amazing how a bunch of cells can eventually develop into a full-sized human body. During my pregnancy, I'd read a week-by-week development of baby. Each week something amazing takes place. Something that would eventually help babies to survive the great big world out there.

After birth, it's even more amazing how God works to sustain the precious little life. For 3 days, the baby can go without food, as God had made it that the baby has enough reserve to last for 3 days. It's during this period of time that the new mom learns how to breastfeed. God had it all planned to allow mom to try and error.

Strike a pose!

Hyak! Dun antagonise me!

Fortune Cat

5 Days Old

Our Little Precious

The nurses got a little funky and styled his hair like a punk.

It's a BOY!

Cavan Yee
Born 1 Feb 2005, 1615 hrs

Weighing 3.035 kg, measuring 49 cm

D-Day (Daddy's account)

31 Jan 05
3pm: Went to Dr Ang’s clinic at 3pm. Dr Ang examined Ann and told us that Bebe hasn’t faced down and was still quite high. He advised us to go for induction. We were both rather reluctant, hoping that Bebe would come by natural birth. Still, we heeded his professional advice. We were told to check-in to TMC by 10.30pm. Ann was quite worried and I had to assure her that things would be ok.

8.30pm: Still at home preparing the bags to be brought to TMC. Suddenly realized that we have so many things to bring. Making the last minute checks to ensure that didn’t leave any important stuff out. In order to calm Ann’s nerves, we decided to take some photos before we leave for TMC. Ann was at her best: pregnant and beautiful.

10pm: Drove to Novena for supper before checking in. By the time we reached TMC, it was already 11.15pm. God must be watching over us. There was no more single suite so TMC gave us a 2-bedded room. This means that I get to sleep on the other bed. Dr Ang came around 11.45pm to insert a pill into Ann, said it would bring on the contractions. We cuddled for awhile, enjoying the last few moments by ourselves.

Tuesday, FEBRUARY 01, 2005
9am: Ann was sent down to the observatory ward by 8.50am. Doc came around 9.30am to break the water bag. After Ann’s water bag burst, we were just waiting for the contractions to build up. Ann was still gloating over how useless the lady next to us when Dr Ang was checking on her.

12pm: Though only 3cm dilated, Ann was sent to the delivery suite as her contractions were coming on more regularly. The labor pains started to intensify but somehow her dilation was not getting wider. The nurse told Ann not to fight the pain, coz it will only make her more tense and slow down the dilation. She also gave Ann the gas mask to help her relief some pain. By now, the pain was starting to mount. Ann asked me if I would allow her to use epidural to ease her pain. I said I would do anything for her. The gas was beginning to take effect on Ann, making her drowsy and semi-conscious.

1pm: As the contraction starts to become stronger and faster, Ann was also becoming increasingly uncomfortable. I was holding her hand and preparing her for the next contraction with the help of the fetal analyzer. At the same time, I kept messaging her back to give her as much relief from the ache as possible. Ann was given an injection to her thigh to help take away some of the pain but when subsequent contractions came on, the pain killing seemed useless. One of the nurse said that my lunch was ready. When I asked Ann if I could leave her for a while to take my lunch, she murmured very softly to me not to go anywhere. Seeing my beloved in such tremendous pain, I couldn’t just go off and decided to stay by Ann’s side.

2pm: Dr Ang was supposed to come at 2pm to check of Ann’s progress. He had also given instructions for Ann to be put on drip if her dilation was not more than 7cm. She was only at 5cm. We told the nurse that we didn’t want the drip and chose to wait for Dr to come. By this time, Ann was near the end of her pain threshold. She would swing her hand and grasping tightly to her pillow for support at each contraction. The respire between the contractions was also getting shorter.

3pm: Ann started to have some ‘show’ which was thick pool of blood flowing out of her womb. The nurse said it was normal, a sign to signify that Bebe was on his way. When she measured Ann’s cervix, it was about 7-8 cm dilated. Two other nurses came in and started preparations for the delivery. They propped up Ann’s legs wide, directed the lights towards Ann’s abdomen and set up the equipment table for Dr. All this while, I was making sure that I was giving Ann all the help she needs, thru messaging and talking to her. During one of the contraction, Ann suddenly blurted out that she feel a strong urge to push. The nurse told her to take in deep breathes to hold back the urge. She also told Ann that she could now take off the gas mask in preparation for the delivery. Ann was very reluctant to give up her ‘clutch’ being the only form of pain relief she has to counter the enormous contraction pain. But still, she knew that the time was drawing near and relented.

3.45pm: Dr Ang came into the delivery suite and started his examination. He said that Bebe was already engaged and his head is visible. I was holding on to Ann’s hand so I couldn’t peep to look at my Bebe. In a single swift action, Dr sprung into his robes and started to talk to Ann about pushing. The nurse told me to support Ann’s head with my arm (the pre-natal lessons did come in handy). Dr readied Ann to push at the next contraction, while the nurses and I were also preparing for the correct cue. When it came, everyone yelled, “PUSH!!!”
“No good, Soann. Don’t shift yourself up. You will be exhausted before your baby comes. Keep your butt down.” Dr Ang told Ann.
We tried another two more times before Dr commented that Ann was becoming exhausted, and it would prolong the delivery. Still he assuringly told Ann to push one more time, and this time Bebe would come out. In one swift action, I saw from the corner of my eye, Dr taking out a vacuum pump and placing it near Ann’s womb.
“Soann, this time Baby will come out, ok? Are you ready? One. Two. Three, Puu……shh!!”
The next thing I see was the nurse carrying a tiny little creature and placing him on a heat warmer. He is so cute, with his eyes closed and hands clenched. I quickly grabbed my camera and started taking pictures of Baby Cavan. Just I started to zoom in on him, he opened his eyes. Then he started crying. I can’t believe my eyes. The baby we have been waiting for the past 9 and half months is finally here. CAVAN was born on 1 Feb 2005 at 1618hrs. A miracle and a precious gift from God.

Ann was tired but overjoyed. Dr had to stitch her up and the nurse had to clean her wound. But when I placed Baby Cavan into her arms, she was delighted. Both of us took our time to savor the every moment that this little bundle of joy is with us. I am so thankful that Ann was ok. She didn’t ask for the epidural in the end, and was able to went thru the entire delivery. What a strong wife I have! I am also thankful that Baby was healthy and well. Thanks be to God in the Highest for His favor and love.

D-Day

7 am – I awoke. It was still early as breakfast would only come in at 8.30am. I turned and looked at Dar who was still sound asleep on the next bed. Began to spend some time praying before washing up and getting myself ready…

8.30 am – Surprisingly, I wasn’t as nervous and anxious as the night b4. Had my macaroni soup and milo. Dar prepared the comic books, games and stuff. We prepared these so that we can kill time while I had contractions. I overestimated myself, as I found out later.

The nurse wheeled me to the observation ward. I felt as if I were a criminal, as people kept looking at me wherever we turned. Were they expecting me to scream or something?

9.30 am – I was given the enema to pass out whatever I had. Dr Ang came in shortly after that and checked me. Dunno why but that was the most painful check I ever had since he started. Nevertheless, I was still my cool self and made no noise.

No progress despite the pessary that was administered the night b4. Still 3 cm. Then he took out a hook and inserted it while he kept apologising. The uncomfortable feeling was quite unbearable and that's where I put my ante-natal class training to good use and took long breaths. I felt an uncomfortable (very!) tug and water began to gush out. He assured me that the baby should be out by 2 or 3 pm. I was very consoled by that confidence.

On a lighter note, another of Dr Ang’s patients came in and had a false alarm. Since she was here, she opted to induce her baby. As he checked her, I could hear her “Ow! Ow! Ow!” I giggled to Dar and commented how useless the gal was. I had my waterbag bursted and din make any noise. And there she was… Hehe. I overheard Dr telling her that her baby should be out by 6 or 7pm. So poor thing! Must tahan so long! I was gloating over my better predicament.

Contractions
I think it started gradually at 10 am. Quite amazing cos water would start gushing out whenever a contraction started. The contraction just felt like very bad aches at my hips. The nurse strapped 2 tranducers on my belly which caused a lot of pain whenever I had contractions. I begged the nurse to remove them but they were necessary to track the fetal heartbeat and contractions.

strapped


I tried to distract myself by reading the papers but gave up at around 11.30am. The pain was becoming more intense. Kind-heartedly, the nurse asked if I needed gas. No, I’m fine. I replied and tried all sorts of breathing methods. The gal next to me was already begging for mask. Aiyo, so useless. I thought complacently.

To Delivery Ward
12.05 pm - I was wheeled to the delivery ward. I felt very relieved cos I thought that meant it should be soon. I never knew how agonising the next couple of hours would be.

Delivery ward

1.30 pm - The contractions started to be really unbearable. I dunno how I can actually pull it through without any pain relief. I just gritted my teeth and bore with it. When the nurse came and checked me, I had little progress. She said that I was fighting the pain too much and as a result, my muscles were tense and could not dilate. She asked if I wanted gas which would help me relax. I agreed.
I din really know how to use the mask and the pain was getting worse. “It didn’t help at all!!” I cried desperately. Dar quickly coached me on the deep breathing methods and that helped me to breathe in the gas. I think my concentration on breathing did take my mind off the contractions a little.

Dr called and asked about my progress. Knowing there was little progress, he asked the nurse to put me on drip to make the contractions come more stronger. I refused. I was already feeling so much pain then. I couldn’t imagine how worse it could be. So I told the nurse I’d wait for Dr when he comes at 2pm then I’d decide on the drip.

After that, I told Dar that I wanted epidural if Dr were to put me on drip. I didn’t think I could make it.

HELP!
The contractions got worse and worse. I thought that was it. I was wrong. The worst was yet to come!! I wished that very moment I could get out of my own body!!

The nurse asked if I wanted a jab on my thigh to take the edge off the pain a little. Of course I wanted! That helped. Besides, Dar would read the graph and notified me when the next contraction was coming and when it was going off. That helped me a lot and encouraged me to go on.

Dar actually missed his lunch. I thought I had allowed him to go outside and eat when he asked me. But after the event, he told me that eventually I din want to let him out of my sight so he stayed. The nurses were very nice to keep his lunch for him and offered to heat up. But gradually, as the labour progressed, he din get to eat at all.

End of 1st Stage
Dar told me that the contractions were getting stronger and closer as he read the graph. I was very comforted by that cos I knew that if I weren’t making progress by the time Dr came, he would put me on drip. I actually lost track of time cos I was so overwhelmed by the whole experience. Whenever I heard the beep quicken (that meant the contraction building up), I would quickly grab my mask. As it went off, I would rest. This became the cycle for me and I din have time neither the strength for anything else. I din even have the energy to scream or say a word. I soon even forgot about wanting an epidural.

The nurse kept coming in to check me. I must say I was very comforted by her cos she was so gentle and assuring. Kept asking me, “Mummy are u ok?” and some other things that I can’t really remember. Then noticing that baby was still quite high up, she suggested that I lie on my left side.

Transition
This is the worst stage of the labour. In pain, I began to flail my arms, hoping to grab on something. Dar tried to give me his hand but I missed it. I gripped on to the pillow instead. Whenever the next one came along, I would desperately grab the pillow, sway my right hip and signalled (really couldn’t speak!) Dar and massaged my back. Same cycle over again. I was so glad Dar was with me. He tried to make me as comfy as possible and acted quickly upon all my requests (verbal and non verbal).

Soon I felt something pressing and had an urge to push. I mustered all my strength to convey that, “I… want…. to… PUSH!!” Dar heard and quickly called the nurse.

The nurse checked me and exclaimed I had a lot of show. I din know what that meant but that sounded like good news to me. With that the nurses sprung into action.

In my grogginess, I saw the nurses in action- getting the equipment ready, pushing the baby cot in, getting the leg pedestrals ready. These were things that told me that it would soon be over. Press on!

The nurse asked me to push whenever I had the urge to. I did but it was very difficult. It was the worst feeling I had felt in my entire life. It was like trying to push a huge stone past your hips. I became one of those desperate birthing women you see on TV...

The nurse wanted to take away my mask and I was very unwilling to part with my “security blanket”. I begged for it but had to give it up during delivery so I could push along with the contractions.

The Birth
I was feeling so weak I couldn’t even lift my legs on the pedestrals. Then Dr checked me and said I was ready. Then they turned the operating lights on me. Suddenly, I felt so exposed but I didn’t care about that anymore. I just wanted the baby out!

Dr watched the monitor and whenever a contraction came, the nurses would scream “PUSH!” and Dr would count to 10. During my 1st push, I tried to cope with the pain by shifting my butt up. Not good, Dr said, if I keep pushing myself up. The posture did not allow me to push effectively. So they made me grab my thighs and asked Dar to lift my upper body up whenever I started pushing. So that was the procedure for the next 3 or 4 pushes.

Each time, I kept asking if Baby was out yet. I was very tired! The nurse informed that the baby was still quite high up. I was feeling desperate and cried feebly that I din want a caesarean. Then the nurse told me, maybe another hour. No, no, she can’t hold that long, Dr remarked calmly. Then he explained to me that he was going to use vacuum to help me. OK, anything. Just get the baby OUT!

After all had been done, Dr watched the monitor and announced to me, “This time, the baby will come out.” I dunno if he was really sure or he said that as a morale booster, but it helped anyway. I pushed really hard on my next contraction and with a scream (my only one throughout the whole labour and delivery), the baby was OUT!!

YEAH! The nurses rejoiced! He’s a teatime baby! It was 1618 hrs. Good job! Excellent! Dar praised and delivered a peck on my lips. I was so relieved I even forgot to check the gender.

It was only on the next day that I remembered.


Finally!

Verdict- 31 Jan

Just yesterday we were having games with cell. Better enjoy our last lap of freedom.

My check today showed that I'm 3 cm dilated. So Doc asked when we want to deliver Bebe. We decided on 1st Feb. Ok, we'll admit into hospital tonight at 10.30 pm.

After the check, my mucuous plug dropped out and I began to bleed heavily. Thank God I was still in the clinic. I was somewhat elated cos this was one of the signs.

We went back home and I quickly tried to complete whatever work I could. Dar did the final packing.

After everything done, we just lay on the bed. After today, we'll come back home with a different lifestyle. Suddenly, I was overcome with emotions and began to sob. I had been overwhelmed with Dar's patience and hard work throughout my pregnancy. He had been such a wonderful hubby and it must have been hard on him to handle everything at home. We cuddled for some time in bed - exactly the same scene when we found out about the pregnancy.

Soon it was time to go. We were late.

At midnight, Doc came to insert pill to soften the cervix and bring about wider dilation. I told him about a ache that I had been experiencing ache at my hip and buttock area. Hearing this, he told the nurse he would insert 1, instead of 2, pill.

After that, Dar and I prayed before we slept, still believing in God that He would bring about a natural delivery. That I would not need to be induced.

For the 1st time in months, I slept soundly till the next morning at 7am.

The check on Monday just shown that I'm 2+ cm dilated. Today, it remained the same. But Doc quite pleased with Bebe's position although still on the high side. EDD on 30 Jan. Doc said if nothing happens on 31 Jan, we'll induce.

Disappointed at the progress, Dar and I discussed about the date. We decided that we'll do it on the 1st or 2nd. The wait is really agonising. Somehow this last month seemed longer than all the 8 months of pregnancy...

Waiting...

Everyone had been commenting that my baby will come early, incldg Doc. He said Bebe should be here at 38th week. Well, I'm at 38th week now...

Had a check today. Bebe's head down but facing up. Not ideal, said Doc. I'm already 1 cm dilated but no other signs. So Doc gave me an MC- my first MC in 1 year 7 months. Anyway, Dar and I went shopping and high tea.

Having sleepless nights again due to pressure and weight against my rib cage. My tummy seemed to go higher up, than down, which made me frustrated. We've praying for Bebe to get engaged but it seemed to wriggle up whenever I'm lying down. So I no longer lie down to sleep. That really caused a strain on my tailbone...

Took pm off today with dar. Din sleep well last nite again. Had this persisting ache from lower back to hips. Dar & I both dreamt about Bebe...